Shall We Walk? 우리 걸을까요?

                                                   
             (written in 2006)

What do you do when you have trouble or difficulty? My only source of trouble these days is to find and discern good foreign books to translate and introduce to Korean readers. I feel fragile because of my inability and limitations, and this sense of incompetence brings about much tension from time to time.

 Most of the time I enjoy my work but sometimes I feel like crying; little by little I'm learning to let go and leave everything to fate. In the midst of my agony, I like to put aside some time to take a walk or climb a mountain. I also occasionally take the opportunity to meet people.

 It's truly a good and joyful thing to devote myself to the task at hand and to put all my energy into the present moment. Nevertheless, there are times when I feel weak, powerless, and limited. When we feel down and depressed, what should we do? 

 For religious people, prayer is a positive way to endure bad times and remain in the presence of the almighty God who helps them overcome weaknesses. However, being human beings with flesh and blood, we also need something else. For me, writing and walking are two ways of empowering myself. These two constructive ways help me face the inner conflict or tension that I feel and help me draw new strength. When I feel gloomy and powerless, I enjoy taking a walk or climbing a mountain.

 I think walking and climbing are the best ways to relieve stress and enlighten the soul. Doctors and psychologists often suggest walking. Climbing is surely one way to discipline the self, as it demands constant effort. It is such a good thing to see that walking and climbing can bring about simple joy and freedom.

 When I take a walk alone, I enjoy walking without any thoughts in my head. Just walking along, I feel empty and free to begin again. I feel like I am flying in the heavens. When I go with others, I try to listen, talk and share personal experiences with them. Whether going alone or with someone else, I feel I'm empowered by sharing the experience and the fresh air.

 Spring has come again this year. It's amazing to see new sprouts and flowers coming up through dry branches. The trees that were once naked and easily moved by the wind blowing are now happy with flowers, sprouts, and leaves. Looking around and seeing nature, I'm empowered.

 This spring, I met a person who has a personality like water. Her lifestyle is something like that of Jesus. Long ago, she entered the nunnery but left after three weeks. The religious life was not for her. Since then, she has lived alone without even her own home or office.

 She is not interested in revealing herself at all; she translates good subjects but doesn't want to reveal her name. Sharing good things with others is enough. She doesn't have her own home, but she can stay here and there through the generous hospitality of her friends across the country.

 She regularly publishes a simple collection of various writings with the help of others. A friend types for her, another friend edits for her, and so on. Her only intention is to help people become enlightened and empowered by meditating and sharing ideas with others.

 Meeting her at April 19th Tower was something very new and special. It was more than climbing a mountain and brought a kind of rebirth experience. Meeting a person like that, who is like the spring, is truly a happy thing and a gift from God. 

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ April 8-9, 2006

The Scandal of Service 봉사의 스캔들

            (written in 2006)

Desiring to rise higher, people build higher towers In Genesis, people in Babylonia decided to make bricks and bake them hard. They said, "let's build a city with a tower that reaches the sky so that we can make a name for ourselves and not be scattered all over the earth." Surely, we have a strong desire and ambition to survive in the world forever.

 Starting with a 146-meter Pyramid in Egypt in 3733 B.C., people tried to build higher towers. Other examples include the Leaning Tower of Pisa in Italy, built around 1350, and the 300-meter Eiffel Tower built in Paris in 1889. In New York, the 391-meter Empire State Building was built in 1931, and the 417-meter World Trade Center lasted from 1973 to 2001. The 442-meter Sears Tower was built in Chicago in 1974. And last but not least are Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, built-in 1998. At present, the 452-meter Petronas Towers are the tallest buildings in the world. These towers are proud of their awe-inspiring, spectacular views of the city and attract tourists from all over the world.

 Human beings seem to enjoy going up and up, but God came down by himself to the earth. Jesus came to the point of dying on the cross. Before his death, he laid down his garments and washed his disciples' feet as a sign of love and dedication. Washing feet reveals a new attitude toward life leading to a spirit of beatitude in the kingdom of God.

 This mysterious behavior is truly a symbol of life, service, the communion of love and unity, and life-giving forgiveness. It is going down to meet God and an act of exercising authority humbly. It's not authority from above but from below that leads to a gradual transformation of the heart. 

 L'Arche community founded in 1964 by Jean Vanier is a community following the spirit of washing others' feet. Jean Vanier was born in 1928 and finished his service as a naval officer in 1950. Later on, he studied Philosophy and became a professor. Nevertheless, he decided to live in the L'Arche community after meeting two mentally handicapped people.

 Living with disabled people, Jean Vanier found the presence of Jesus in those who are weak, poor, humble, and little. Among the weakest people, he learned to love others more humbly, kindly, and generously. He realized it is not only the strong people who can help the weak but also the handicapped who can help others. Love and compassion let hearts open widely and be with others.

 Jean Vanier was a Canadian who helped build the country and inspired the world. He even inspired and encouraged the well-known Henry Nouwen to follow the same steps. About 130 L'Arche communities are active now over the world, and many books regarding the spirituality and life of L'Arche were already been introduced to Korean readers. In one of them, Jean Vanier contemplates the sign of washing others' feet in The Scandal of Service: Jesus Washes Our Feet. 

 Whenever Mahatma Gandhi visited a city, he always stayed with the untouchables, the lowest group of people in India and he even changed this term to 'harijans,' meaning the children of God. While he had an important role in politics, he used to wash toilets and in this way witnessed the humble and poor Jesus. He revealed himself as one clothed in the image of Christ who served others up to the point of dying on the cross.

 This way of service coming not from above but from below looks like a scandal because it goes beyond human expectation and imagination. Kneeling down and washing others' feet goes against common sense. It is really a scandal for those who are critical and judge others' outward behaviors.

 Where does true authority come from? True authority with a spirit of communion comes from below, and it lets people help others, listen to them, ask others' advice or opinion, and accept others as they are. Jesus was willing to wash others' feet and suggested his followers do the same. He first showed an example not by words but by deeds.

 This year, I accepted the suggestion to help my colleague's sister who is in charge of cooking for about 70 sisters. My service in the kitchen takes only 30 minutes just before dinner every day, and I'm happy to be with a sister in the kitchen. I usually wash dishes and do an errand. I'm happier being with a cook sister even for a short time. Learning to love each moment, new heavens are opened for the community.

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Jan. 31, 2006

On the way from New York 뉴욕에서 돌아오는 길에

                                                 

              (written in 2006)

I recently arrived back from New York. I have a story that I would like to share with you before it faints from my memory.

 Four Pauline sisters hold the Book Exhibits for Korean Catholics living in the United States for two and half months during October and December 2005. We visited 27 parishes in 10 States starting from Chicago in Midwest up to Atlanta on East Coast. Going through Chicago, Boston, Cleveland, New York, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Richmond, Washington, Virginia, and Atlanta, we introduced various media for helping the spiritual life.

 Finishing our mission, I stayed behind in New York for 10 days to visit several publishers and bookshops downtown. One morning I took JetBlue Airways to New York from Boston, but the flight had to go back to Boston again just before reaching New York because of foggy weather. The pilot couldn't see the ground because of the thick fog covering New York. All of a sudden, all of us in the airplane went back to Boston and waited for about three hours at the airport.

 In the meantime, I made a phone call to the next connecting plane company and was able to postpone it until the next day. I also sent an email to my congregation in Korea to explain the situation. While waiting, airplane stewardesses provided us with snacks and drinks for nothing. I enjoyed various snacks instead of lunch. The situation improved in the afternoon, and I arrived at JFK airport by 4 o'clock.

 I was unsure what to do from the afternoon until the morning the next day. In fact, I was stranded. And I chose an adventure. I trusted in God's providence and took the airport bus downtown to attend Evening Mass at 5:30 at St. Patrick Cathedral on 51st Street. Looking for a place to stay overnight, I asked a priest if there was a guest room or a couch in the church, but he suggested I go to the sisters' house of the Sacred Heart on 9th avenue. I walked there, but when I got there nobody was there in spite of the light on the first floor by 7 o'clock.

 Then, I went to the Emergency center of St. Vincent Midtown Hospital on West 51st Street near the convent. I thought the hospital running 24 hours was safer to stay in than other places. God helped me to stay there in a single patient room. A kind and generous-hearted night administrator and nurse, Mr. Joseph Victory Stewart allowed me to stay in after listening to my plight. He first asked me to take a look at my passport and thought I was eligible to stay.

 He first asked permission from his superior by phone and introduced me to a Korean nurse, Raphaella who has worked there for about 30 years, and gave me some food. I also met a Korean doctor born in America. We laughed, and Ms. Raphaella kept saying 'you are so brave!' We shared greetings, and she said she was there in her parish when we had the book exhibit. Mr. Victory gently prepared the bed for me and put a notice saying, "Don't disturb Sr. Mary Theresa" on the door.

 Early the next morning, he brought an apple, four sandwiches, and some juice for me to take to the airport for breakfast. Furthermore, he gave me $20 for transportation fare and took a taxi with me to get to the airport bus stop nearby. He is married to a Filipino, and his hair is braided at the back.

 On the way, I quite contemplated the story of Mary and Joseph looking for a place to stay for the birth of Jesus Christ. I really appreciate the American people's kind and generous hospitality. They surely have a spirit of sharing, donation, and volunteering. I am now at home safe and sound; I'm filled with gratitude for people's goodness and every gift God has bestowed on me. May God bless them all!

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Jan. 11, 2006

Now Is the Time to Love Again 지금은 다시 사랑할 때

     (written in 2006)

  Jesuit Fr. Song Bong-mo is writing a series called "the Bible and the Human." He has the intuition to contemplate the biblical message and share his wisdom with others while applying various stories and experiences. That is why many Catholics are touched by his writing.

 His messages are so specific, deep, and realistic that many Christians enjoy reading his work and expect him to keep writing. As a result, his books have been steady sellers since 1998 at Pauline.

 Out of 10 titles of "The Bible and the Human" series, Pauline recently made a beautiful selection from his sayings entitled "Now Is the Time to Love Again." It is arranged under six topics: when I need to rely on somebody; when I face trials; when I feel God's love; when I give my love to my dear person; when I go back to God; when I want to begin anew; and when I want to resemble God. Forty-three short messages are accompanied by simple, black-and-white paintings.

 While reading, I felt compelled to translate some of them in the hope that these words will surely touch your heart and empower your life.

 Here are some of those translations.

 "Our lives pass away. The memory of a beloved person, sweet remembrances, and the memory of sad separation just go by. If there is a memory that doesn't pass away, it is the encounter of the soul with the soul."

 "Isn't the reason for God to give us two arms that we embrace each other?"

 "A happy couple is a couple who decides to be happy. Such a couple is the one who decides to live happily while taking care of the naked body in spite of many problems between them. They know true love is to care for each other not only during a honeymoon period filled with lovely affections but even after coming out of that period."

 "As the strings of a guitar sound beautiful in harmony but each string is separate, so the couple is. Married life is that of walking while looking at the same place together, rather than just watching each other's faces intently. It is to live while looking together at the same terminus, which is God, the master of life."

 "Only love can listen to the reply of love. Love is the only strength that can open the heart of the human."

 "When we love our neighbors and give them affection, we are giving them the life in us and fostering their lives."

 "Forgiveness is not achieved of itself. We have to first make up our minds to forgive, and then God's help is needed. When we want to forgive wholeheartedly, which is the utmost command of Jesus but find it hard to practice because of emotional difficulty, we have to decide to forgive first. Forgiveness begins at the moment of making a decision to forgive."

 "For the one whose spiritual power is exhausted, it is not easy to face others. Many people work with pure enthusiasm in the beginning and show delicate and attractive looks, but they become somewhat tired and irritable as time goes on. If they are very active without taking a rest, they not only become easily angry and highly nervous but also live fatigued by activity. The reason for us to go back to the place of solitude immediately after the service is to avoid spiritual bankruptcy, to walk with the Lord, and to take care of the inner spiritual garden."

 "Our body sends us two emotions; comfort and discomfort. If the body is comfortable with our choices, we can drive forward with the conviction that it is the right choice. On the other hand, we have to think it over when the body is uncomfortable, for it might be a wrong choice."

 "A tree can't grow big alone. It can't grow big even when it clings to other trees. At the same time, humans can neither grow smoothly alone nor grow up well while being close to others. We are living beings who grow up right when we live together at a proper distance. In other words, intimate human relationships are the ones that have distance in unity."

 "Each of us is a work of art created uniquely after the image of God, so we don't have to compare ourselves with others. Every tree in the forest shines in green color. They have the same green, but the depth of each green is so different that it makes the whole figure of the forest fantastic. When God looks at us, our beauty, on the whole, will bring more beauty because of mutual differences."

 "God draws a straight line with a curved line. The way of the desert that Israel thought to turn round and round was necessary to educate people. God wanted Israel not to enter the land of promise in haste, without preparation, but to enter with preparation even though it would take time."

 "God's style of action is like a mosaic, which is unseemly outside but has a glittering beauty and abundant meaning when looking from the inside. At the same time, we can't understand God's love and justice enough, now and then, without looking at them with the heart of God."

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Mar. 15, 2006

Leadership enlivening people 사람을 살리는 리더십

             (written in 2006)

 We often talk about leadership, and many books are devoted to that issue these days. Two books on leadership based on the spiritual thoughts of St. Benedict have been also published by Pauline. Many authors seem to touch on this topic, and various seminars deal with leadership programs.

 I think leadership is not a matter to be considered by leaders or superiors only; it is related to everybody, especially in the sense that everybody is the leader of his or her own life. And a true leader knows how to let others live to the fullest and draw their potential for the sake of common goodness. Good leaders with good inner personalities and qualities have led people to live with passion and dreams.

 In this high-tech and high-touch society, people are used to giving more priority to ability, self-achievement, success, and fulfillment, without paying attention to the ongoing process of appreciating others as they are and making them alive every moment. That would be one of the reasons why we try to mention the issue of true leadership so often nowadays.

 Among the diverse qualities of a leader, German Fr. Anselm Grun regards enlivening others through making them live to their fullest potential as the primary and foremost quality in his book entitled 'Menschen Fuhren, Leben Wecken.' The leader sees, ponders, and enjoys the work of people and appreciates people as they are. Therefore, the goal of business or management is not only to expand profits but also to be considerate of creation and human beings. In other words, it is to enliven others in every moment.

 When I think of people who let others live to their highest potential, the word "mother" comes to mind immediately. The mothers of Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt, and T. A. Edison are well-known. Mengtzu's mother moved house three times, and Han Seok-bong's mother made her son the best calligrapher. Hines Ward has also become the MVP of American football thanks to his mother through sacrifice, sustaining her son, and teaching him not to give up. 

 Small or big, everybody has a unique life story. I thought I was a failure long ago, and my mother worried and constantly prayed for my transformation. It was my mother who rented a room near the university when I decided to study further after wandering even to the point of death.

 I know how she prayed during my study and I wrote a poem on her faithful and enduring companionship:

 

"When she learns one

Let her know ten.

 

When she knows one

Let her awaken ten.

 

When she awakens one

Let her love ten.

 

When she loves one

Let her give out ten.

 

When she gives one

Let her praise the Lord to the sky.

 

Day in and day out

Rolling the beads of a rosary

Mother, my mother."

 

My mother is not educated well at all but she knows how to lead herself and her children. Who is the true leader of life? Like our mothers, each of us can be a leader. Like the sunshine making the universe grow, we can control ourselves to be wise and mature, humble and silent, simple and single-hearted, considerate and thoughtful, peaceful and moderate, sharing and responsible, lively and lovely.  

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Feb. 21, 2006

Empty Palace 빈 궁

                                                        
         (written in 2006)

“Calling His Name,” written by Seong Youm, the Korean Ambassador to the Holy See, came out recently. The collection of short essays reveals the author's thoughts, meditations, vision, and life experiences.

 Seong sees everything he has received as a gift. His parents died young, but many warmhearted people helped him and his brothers prepare for the future. Of course, there have been ups and downs.

 He was educated to be a priest but dropped out of the seminary to marry a woman who fell in love with him at first sight. They believe in different religions, but they respect each other. Love solves every problem. Seong is not a priest now, but he is doing good work not only for the church but for the country.

 Everything is a gift to share with joy, generosity, and gratitude. Sometimes, reality can be hard to accept. It can demand endurance and sacrifice, but difficulties can bring profound wisdom and awakening. If we appreciate the deep meaning underlying each moment, everything can bring enlightenment, even painful things.

 I was deeply touched by Seong's life story and insight while reading "Calling His Name." It was a special experience to help edit the book, and I did my best.

 I had to remove my womb before Christmas. I cried for a while and felt purified little by little. Tears came out naturally as if they were a gesture of repentance.

 "I feel like being a new person! Be happy with me." That was how I felt before the operation. It was a statement of new beginnings.

 Then, my community of sisters replied to my words. A sister cheered me up by saying, “Not anybody can say that." Another sister told me, "I'll watch over you."

 I felt I was changing inwardly. The doctors put me under anesthesia at 8 a.m., and it was about 5 p.m. when I woke. I had an irregular pulse. My belly hurt deeply, but I was glad to be alive. I felt pain but was grateful for new life through suffering. Everything was new, and I was happy to appreciate the presence of those who are near me. I wrote this poem:

 

An Empty Palace

 

For you,

only for you,

I have emptied the womb of life in spite of many conflicts.

 

However, not you

but another guest came

in that intimate place where nobody could enter.

 

That was a lump

twisted and twisted in many folds,

dangling tightly to the string of attachment.

 

Without knowing it,

it has grown freely to the fullest

while sucking all kinds of nourishment.

 

Whenever I shed tears

because of unavoidable desire,

that lump was increased like a snowball.

 

In the end,

when the identity of the lump was revealed,

a death sentence was given to take it all out.

 

While entrusting the naked body without any power,

having the belly cut, deepened by desire and bound by attachment

was such a pain that permeated every corner of the flesh.

 

There is now neither the womb

nor the lump.

The inner space is only empty.

 

In the very place

where I can’t hold anything in my hand,

You are coming.

 

You have hung about outside the door

for a long time

and wanted me to be a new person.

 

At the very moment

when I can't do anything by myself,

You come to me.

 

Opening your arms,

You raise me up.

 

In the very palace where I was imprisoned by the fence of "being different from each other"

 and where I was immersed in the entrusted works,

so many sisters come and go.

 

I have become really a new person.

Love that doesn't build a house in any place

has come into being.

 

Two weeks have passed away since the operation. I hardly rested before, but now I'm learning to rest and enjoy each moment. I find myself still wearing the old person, but my mind and vision are being refreshed little by little. I hope the new year will let my dream to be a new person come true.

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Dec. 30-31, 2006

Do they smile? 그들은 웃는가?

                                                 

           (written in 2006)

Osama bin Laden, George W. Bush, and Kim Jeong-il were recently selected as the most threatening people in the world. They may experience love and care among family members, but they are driven by ambition and desire only. They may have dreams of unification and peace, but their prejudiced dreams do not address universal brotherhood.

 Do they smile broadly when appearing in the media? Their smiles are different from the smiles of those who love life with solidarity. Their dreams are different from the dreams of Martin Luther King who proclaimed the utmost dream.

 Unlike politics, most dramas talk about love and dream. Love and dreams are such universal topics that every generation is concerned about them and seeks them eagerly.

 Lovers in dramas often smile broadly and dream to live happily. Of course, usually in the beginning, the protagonist looks rigid and hard but changes naturally into a person who easily smiles.

 What brings about this change? Love changes our faces. Love brings smiles. Nevertheless, we often forget about the true meaning of love and try to achieve the goal only. Nobody would deny that love can cure and change everything, but the reality is different.

 Look at those who love one another. When we love somebody, even looking at his or her back or shoulder makes us pleasant and peaceful.

 When we love others unconditionally, we understand the meaning of sacrifice and dedication. Of course, we are sometimes disappointed in relationships, but with unconditional love, we can overcome those feelings and accept the situation as it is. Love is truly the ultimate answer for everything, even though our reality seems to be far from universal love.

 I still remember the lovely dream of Martin Luther King who bravely proclaimed universal solidarity. "From every mountainside, let freedom ring. We will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men, and white men, Jews, and gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last! Even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream."

 "I have a dream that one day everybody will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day every nation will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that people will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character in the name of civil rights," he went on to say.

 Like King, everybody has a dream, small or large. Dreaming to love others as Mother Teresa did is our never-ending homework.

 Did you dream last night? It is said that we dream five or seven times a night because the unconscious constantly sends us messages reflecting our personal psychology and pointing out the important matters to be considered, but we often forget them when we get up in the morning.

 A dream is like a love letter sent by God. When we have a dream, we can smile and be more optimistic in spite of difficulties. The dream contains solutions or answers to the problems in our daily lives.

 Sometimes, the dream can be a nightmare, but each dream serves to help realize the whole personality. There is no bad dream; everything has a meaning and is given as God's gift. When we pay attention, we can realize the hidden messages. With its prophetic dimensions and gift of spiritual growth, a dream can contribute to the harmony of personality.

 Remember our dreams. Why don't we smile today?

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Nov. 18-19, 2006