A piece of sunshine 햇살 한 조각

                 

I had a sore throat but I hesitated to go to the clinic immediately because I had an oncoming visa interview appointment. When I tested myself with a self-diagnostic kit, a negative response came out.

After the interview, I went to the clinic to check my condition, and it turned out that I became infected with the coronavirus. All of a sudden, together with five sisters, I had to leave the community and quarantine at a vacation home in Sokcho for a week.

Thanks to this situation, I got enough rest while taking medicine. Thanks to God, my ongoing symptoms were not that serious, so I began to arrange various files of the photos and essays stored on my USB.

Several years ago, I tried to clear and arrange various files as a part of the resolutions for the climate crisis but I couldn't make it.

While arranging them, I noticed also that I have kept so many unnecessary photos. I am now trying to sort them out according to themes so that I can refer to them when I need them for some purpose in the future.

One of my other plans is to upload my articles to my blog. So, during these days, I continued to upload the articles that I have written since 1989 for The Korea Times' "Thoughts of the Times" column. All in all, there are more than 250 pieces, and each of them reveals some stories of my life.

I created a blog titled "A piece of sunshine" at mtorchid88.blogspot.com. When you have time, feel free to visit this blog. The goal or intention of my blog is to be the sunshine that is always with us like a piece of sunshine after a rain shower, like a piece of sunshine after the dark clouds, like the pouring sunshine giving dreams day by day.

Several years ago, as part of a talent donation, I wrote a short meditation poem bilingually both in English and Korean once a week, regarding the Sunday readings and Gospels in the corner titled "Sketchbook" in the homepage "Pauline contents."

There are 12 corners under the title of "Sketchbook," and one of them is titled "A piece of sunshine" at contents.pauline.or.kr/bbs/board.php?bo_table=sunshine.

Looking back at my long journey of sharing the articles in "Thoughts of the Times," I really appreciate the enduring efforts of the editing board of The Korea Times. The editors in this daily newspaper are doing a good job to improve the quality of the articles they receive from all over the world. I am grateful for their constant accompaniment encouraging me to keep writing.

For me, writing is a joy like the sprouts coming up from the hard bark of the trees. I enjoy writing, and themes to write come to my mind when necessary as I go on this journey.

I remember I used to carry a notebook to write things in when I studied the English language and literature. Since then, writing has become an inspiring habit.

"Do not let love and fidelity forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. Then will you win favor and esteem before God and human beings." (Proverbs 3:3-4).

 https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/nation/2022/11/162_340656.html

The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ November 29 (online), 30 (offline), 2022

햇살 한 조각

 

 목이 아팠지만 다가오는 비자 인터뷰 약속 때문에 곧바로 병원에 가는 것을 망설였다. 자가진단키트로 검사하자 음성 반응이 나왔다.

 인터뷰를 마치고 병원에 가서 진료를 받았는데 코로나 바이러스에 감염된 것으로 나왔다. 불현듯 나는 다섯 명의 다른 수녀님들과 함께 공동체를 떠나 속초 휴가집에서 일주일 동안 격리되어 지내야 했다.

 이러한 상황 덕분에 나는 약을 먹으며 충분히 쉬었다. 다행히 증상이 그리 심하지 않아 나는 USB에 저장해 놓은 사진과 에세이 파일을 정리하기 시작했다.

 몇 년 전, 나는 기후 위기에 대한 다짐으로 여러 자료를 정리하려 했지만 그러지 못했다.

 자료를 정리하면서 나는 불필요한 사진이 너무 많음을 또한 알았다. 지금 나는 앞으로 어떤 목적을 위해 필요로 할 때 참고할 수 있도록 주제별로 정리하려고 한다.

 다른 계획 하나는 그동안 쓴 글을 블로그에 올리는 것이다. 요즈음 나는 1989년 이래 코리아타임스 “Thoughts of the Times” 칼럼에 썼던 글들을 블로그에 담고 있다. 모두 250여 개가 넘는 글을 올렸는데, 각 편에는 내 삶의 이야기가 실려 있다.

 “mtorchid88.blogspot.com”이라는 웹 주소 아래 “A piece of sunshine”이라는 제목으로 블로그를 만들었다. 시간이 나면 이 블로그를 방문하시길 바란다. 블로그의 목표 또는 지향은 “소나기 뒤 드리운 햇살 한 조각처럼, 먹구름 뒤 스며든 햇살 한 조각처럼, 나날이 꿈을 주며 쏟아지는 햇살처럼 언제나 함께하는 햇살이 되고자” 하는 것이다.

 몇 년 전부터 재능기부의 일환으로 “바오로딸콘텐츠” 홈페이지 안에 있는 “스케치북” 코너에 주일 독서와 복음 말씀에 대한 짧은 묵상시를 영어와 한국어로 써서 일주일에 하나씩 올렸다.

 "스케치북"이라는 이름 아래 12개의 코너가 있는데, 그 가운데 하나가 “A piece of sunshine”이다. 이는 “contents.pauline.or.kr/bbs/board.php?bo_table=sunshine”에 들어 있다.

 “Thoughts of the Times”에서 글을 나누기까지의 긴 여정을 돌아보며 The Korea Times 편집위원들의 끊임없는 노고에 진심으로 감사드린다. 일간지 코리아타임스의 편집진은 세계 곳곳에서 들어오는 글의 질을 높이려고 최선을 다한다. 계속해서 글을 쓰도록 격려하며 한결같이 동반해 주심에 감사드린다.

 나에게 글쓰기란 딱딱한 나무껍질을 뚫고 돋아나는 새싹처럼 기쁜 일이다. 나는 글쓰기를 좋아한다. 이 여정을 한결같이 걸어가다 보니 필요할 때마다 글 쓸 주제가 떠오른다.

 영어영문학을 공부할 무렵 나는 무언가를 쓰기 위해 늘 공책을 지니고 다니던 것이 떠오른다. 그 이래 글쓰기는 영감 어린 습관이 되었다.

 “자애와 진실이 너를 떠나지 않도록 하여라. 그것들을 네 목에 묶고 네 마음속에 새겨 두어라. 그러면 네가 하느님과 사람 앞에서 호의와 호평을 받으리라.”(잠언 3,3-4)

My wish 나의 소원

       (written in 2018)

One day, I took time to visit Kim Se-jung’s museum exhibition called “The Joy of the Arts” to appreciate the representative works created by eight Catholic contemporary sculptors including Kim Se-jung (1928-1986), Choi Jong-tae (1932-) and Sr. Choi Bong-ja, among others.

 This exhibit lasted for about a month up to July 20, with the theme, “A sense of beauty in modern and contemporary sculptures.” It is quite interesting to visit such a gallery located in a residential area near Hyochang Park.

 Probably because I grew up with various pieces of wood at home, for my father was a carpenter, I enjoy looking at sculptures made of wood, bronze, iron, or marble. Creating a work of art in a form of a simple line and unique contour from the huge wildwood or natural and rough marble is always so amazing and marvelous. It is just a wonder.

 Near this gallery, I found the Baekbeom Kim Gu Museum & Library which displays most systematically the life-long journey of Kim Gu (1876-1949). Visiting his tomb and the tombs of four other patriotic martyrs surrounded by pine trees is such a good walk under the clear and shiny sky.

 “If God were to ask me, ‘What is your wish?’ I would reply without hesitation, ‘My wish is Korean independence’. If God asked me, ‘What is your next wish?’ I would again reply, ‘It is the independence of our nation.’ If God asked me one more time, ‘What is your next wish?’ I would even more forcefully say, ‘My wish is the complete sovereign independence of our nation, Korea.’”

 This quotation titled “My wish” appears at the end of the autobiography of Baekbeom Kim Gu who devoted himself wholeheartedly to the independence of our country. As a leader of the Korean independence movement, he was the sixth president of the Provisional Government of the Republic of Korea in 1927, and later up to his death, he did his best as a unification activist and a nationalist politician.

 Since “Backbeom Ilji” (Journal of Baekbeom: Autobiography of Kim Gu) was first published in 1947, it has become a steady seller with the publications of various versions of over 100 titles. In 2005 at the Frankfurt Book Faith, this book was selected as one of the “100 books of Korea.”

 I quite agree with him when he mentioned “the power of a noble culture” as follows: “I want our nation to be the most beautiful in the world. By this, I do not mean the most powerful nation. Because I have felt the pain of being invaded by another nation, I do not want my nation to invade others.”

 At the moment, it is very encouraging and inspiring for both Koreans to realize various creative and courageous attempts to be integrated by means of sports, songs, moving images, cultural performances, the reunion of people, traveling, as well as economic sponsoring. Truly, realizing a noble culture with common goodness will free and save us all from pride and prejudice.

 

The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ July 24, 2018

In memory of Fr. James Alberione 야고보 알베리오네 신부님을 기리며

                                                   
              (written in 2003)

I was so glad to hear the news on the beatification of Fr. James Albeione this coming spring. He was the founder of the Daughters of St. Paul, whose mission is to proclaim the Good News through mass communication.

 When I think of Fr. Alberione, the first thing coming to my mind is the virtue of obedience. Among the three religious vows, obedience is considered a spiritual way of listening to an inner voice for the sake of God’s will. Obedience is to seek and practice the better cause which can be expressed as love, compassion, goodness, justice, and kindness.

 There are two kinds of obedience: obedience as docility and obedience as fantasy. It is necessary to keep the balance between these. Obedience as docility (or docile and faithful obedience) is simply explained as obedience humbly following God’s will without serious inner resistance, conflict, or confrontation. Obedience as fantasy (or fantastic and creative obedience) means the utmost positive, active, and responsible participation toward creation. Fantastic obedience accompanies considerable pain because it demands self-denial, perseverance, and sacrifice. These two kinds of obedience are intertwined in the process of discernment toward God’s will. In other words, God’s will is realized by means of both docile obedience and fantastical obedience.

 I think Fr. James Alberione practiced both meanings of obedience. His docile obedience is revealed by his strong conviction of divine providence throughout his life. His constant total trust in the hands of God has clearly been revealed in his autobiographical writings called “AD” (Abundantes Divitiae Gratiae Suae), the charismatic history of the Pauline Family. His docile obedience is deeply rooted in his faith. Especially on the night that divided the 19^th century and the 20^th century, he spent four hours in the Cathedral of Alba in Italy in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Then, a special light came from the Blessed Sacrament: “Come to me all of you.” He firmly believed that the Pauline Family was born from God’s will.

 He also showed his gentle trust in God’s will in many ways. He even wrote in the so-called “promissory note” that “Seek first the kingdom of God and his justice. All else will be given you besides.” It was the pact of alliance between God and the community. He knew how to trust in God: “There are always so many imperfections, defects, errors, gaps, and doubts in man’s actions that he has to place everything in the hands of divine mercy and let himself be guided. He should never force the hand of providence!” He always asked himself, “Is this necessary? Do I have the right intention? Would we do this if we were at the point of death?” If the answers were in the affirmative, trust was put in God.

 The above-mentioned absolute confidence in the divine providence made his life of obedience easier. However, obedience was not always easy and simple for him. There were many difficult moments in the history of the Pauline Family that he founded. Even though he didn’t directly mention the conflict coming from the fantastical obedience, I can observe some tension between his inner confrontation and his firm trust leading to the docile obedience. His fantastical obedience is revealed in three dimensions – fantastical obedience while listening to a voice in a dream or prayer; fantastical obedience moving from attachment to detachment; fantastical obedience living a life of sacrifice and waiting.

 We sometimes dream a dream when we have to decide on something difficult, serious, important, or crucial in our lives. It was during the hard trial of his illness, during the first years of his undertaking when Fr. Alberione heard the voice of the divine master being with him always. Listening to a voice in a dream or prayer in the midst of difficulties is surely one example of fantastical obedience. When he had to undergo the strongest pain, he had a dream and listened to God’s voice to persevere.

 The pain always remained like a thorn fixed in his heart, but he didn’t lose it. He also heard that “You can make a mistake, but I never do. The vocations come only from me, not from you.” In a dream he had afterward, he felt he was given an answer. Jesus said, “Do not be afraid, I am with you. From here I will cast light. Be sorry for sins.”

 Fr. Alberione’s fantastical obedience on the way from attachment to detachment is clearly seen in the following three events. The first event was about the entrance of the seminary. He had to quit the seminary of Bra because the seminary didn’t accept him. He was truly humiliated to stay at home for the time being and then enter another seminary. However, he didn’t give up his goal to be a priest and accepted all the situations. He pursued God’s will to the end in spite of people’s various responses.

 The second event was about his work. It was not easy for Alberione to leave his work at the service of the diocese under the guidance of Bishop Re. When the Bishop advised him to leave so as to dedicate himself wholly to the congregation, he felt sorry and wept especially because he was attached to the diocesan work of publishing a newspaper. Nevertheless, he accepted God’s will.

 The third heroic obedience was given when the Sacred Congregation for Religious advised him to merge the Sister Disciples of the Divine Master with the Daughters of St. Paul. Fr. Alberione actually planned to have two distinct Congregations. However, in communicating the Decree of the Holy See to the Sister Disciples, he said in his letter as follows: “To us, nothing is sweeter, surer, and more meritorious than obedience: this time it concerns a great act of obedience!”

 He was certain about God’s will regarding the Sister Disciples. Even though the disposition of the Church was unfavorable, he chose the surest path – obedience – without hesitation. After the trial, he later had the joy of seeing the plan that was so dear to him realized in full. Thus, his humility and endurance were rewarded. It was really the victory of fantastic obedience.

 Fr. Alberione’s fantastical obedience in the acts of sacrifice and waiting is clearly seen in the history of the Pauline Family. Our congregations had to endure in many ways to be recognized with each specific mission. Each congregation is the result of continual sacrifice, dedication, waiting, painful wavering, offering, hard work, and prayer. He was truly a man of docile and fantastic obedience. No matter how difficult it is, he accepted various situations with courage and trust.

 His life of obedience was truly faithful and creative at the same time. He first prayed and made others pray. He consulted others and obeyed. He always tried to find out the way to be sure what was God’s will. When he was sure that God wanted it, he didn’t hesitate anymore. When a contrary opinion was expressed, he said with a serenity that “it’s a matter of different viewpoint.” His followers also didn’t a question but obeyed when they knew his desire.

 

The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Feb. 5, 2003

St. Lazarus Village 성라자로마을

                                                  
           (written in 2002)

Have you ever been to St. Lazarus Village in Anyang, the first Catholic relief institution for lepers in Korea? I stayed there for a month while joining the yearly intensive mission program of our congregation. Located near the Morak mountain range, this village is well-known for its cozy, natural, and beautiful scenery. Large trees reveal its history. St. Lazarus Village intends to cure and help the lepers. The name of Lazarus came from a beggar covered with boils who was received by Jesus in the New Testament. In 1950, throughout Korea, the situation of lepers was very miserable, like that of the beggar.

 St. Lazarus Village was founded in 1950 by the Rev. George Caroll, and the first Korean director of that village was the late Fr. Lee Kyong-jae Alexander, who was named in 1970 as the seventh director. In honor of Fr. Damian, Fr. Lee lived with the lepers for about 30 years, up to his death in 1998. He first encountered a leper in 1951. By that time, he was neither afraid of the lepers nor had any feeling of rejection toward them. Naturally, he did his best to turn their anxiety and sadness into joy. With his firm belief that “sooner or later the seeds of our love will grow,” he dedicated himself to living with the lepers. This motto of love is written on the marble wall near the main street of the village.

 As I looked around the village, I thought Fr. Lee was a great person with vision and intuition. He planned his life wisely and lived a frugal life. He insisted on wearing a winter cassock, even in summer, in order not to wear better clothes than the lepers. With a long-sighted view, he built various nice houses and tried to spread God’s love to his leper friends. He once said that “it is worthwhile and the most beautiful thing to live for others as a human being.” In this way, he made every effort to create a pleasant environment for the poor lepers and tell people all over the world about their difficult lives. There was a naturally great help from sponsors. About 30 buildings were built thanks to their generous and willing help.

 Now, St. Lazarus Village is able to help other Asian countries with support programs. The present director, Fr. Kim Wha-tae, confessed that he brought soju (distilled spirits) to make friends with the lepers when he was named the director of the village. Now, he tries to extend help and service to other poor countries.

 Hansen’s disease is specified as an infectious disease. It ruins the nervous system and distorts the shape of hands, skin, or eyes. This disease was known 2,000 years ago but was medically identified by a Norwegian doctor, Hansen, in 1873. It infects through scarred skin and respiratory organs. The exact reason for the infection is not yet known. Nevertheless, it can be cured by multi-drug therapy.

 When it first takes effect, leprosy does not cause a certain feeling when pinched or touched hard. It is possible to recover if it is discovered in the beginning steps. However, this germ can develop into Hansen’s disease if a doctor makes the wrong prescription. It was a pity for me to see a young man come to the village in August this year. He didn’t know about his disease because of the doctor’s incorrect prescription. There are presently about 100 aged and disabled leprous patients at the institution. Along with this village, there are about 25 clinics, seven camps, and 89 farms for lepers in Korea.

 One day while taking a walk, I happened to meet a middle-aged leper who came to the village six years ago. She was initially informed she had cancer, but her disease turned out to be leprosy. So, she had to have both legs amputated below the knees and was shunned by her family. She said her sister called her a corpse. In spite of her situation, she was married to a leper friend in the village. Every autumn, she eagerly picks chestnuts and acorns with her curled fingers to share with elder neighbors with poor eyesight due to taking multiple drug treatments. With sweat beading on her forehead, she happily goes around the village three times a day with the help of her small car. I still remember her picking acorns with her curled hands.

 Let me quote a beautiful prose poem written by Fr. Lee:

 “There are some people who spend time and money on their hair. 

   Yet there are others, like people affected by leprosy, who slowly lose their hair.

  There are some people who shape their eyebrows. 

  Yet there are others, like people affected by leprosy, who lose their eyebrows.

  There are some people who look at others with hate. 

  Yet there are others, who have eyes that see less and less.

  There are some people who use their mouths to lie and hurt people. 

  Yet there are others whose mouths are twisted and cannot speak clearly.

  There are some people who hurt others with their hands. 

  Yet there are others whose fingers are so curved and broken away 

   that they cannot wear a ring or even hold a spoon.

  There are some people who walk to places they should not go. 

  Yet there are others who have such diseased feet and toes that they cannot walk at all.

  There are some people who dress in luxury. 

  Yet there are others who are only given old, worn-out second-hand clothes.

  There are some people who have much to eat and drink. 

  Yet there are others who even on their birthday or holidays do not have warm food to eat.

  There are some people who go out to enjoy their bodies with other men and women. 

  Yet there are others who must live with bodies that smell bad and are painfully covered with sores.

  There are some people who make money dishonestly. 

  Yet there are others who cannot even work to earn money even if they are honest people.

  There are some people who live selfishly without taking care of their families. 

  Yet there are others who cannot live with their families and must live in restricted areas.

  There are some people who complain and do not thank God for all they have received from Him. 

  Yet there are others who are living in disfigured shapes, suffering, 

  without the freedom to live among others or hope for a cure from doctors.”

 

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Oct. 10, 2002

A prayer meeting 기도 모임

                                                        
       (written in 1998)

Our country is suffering from serious problems such as overproduction, consumerism, foreign debt, and unemployment…. What shall I do for the country? What can I do for the country… About 1,000 religious people gathered together at Myeongdong Cathedral to participate in a prayer meeting for the country facing a critical economic problem on Jan. 7, 1998. I was one of the participants in that meeting. Representing 8,000 religious figures who feel a sense of responsibility for the current crisis in Korea, all of us in this prayer meeting could clear our identities as religious people and try to find a way to overcome our troubles with a special intention to make this gloomy reality for the future. Above all, we came together to examine our own religious living attitudes and styles as concerned people in this contemporary era of material consumerism.

 Prof. Um Kil-chong spoke about our present national economic situation – its problems and the future for about an hour. After explaining several social and economic phenomena such as market economy, overproduction, extravagance, expansion of domestic consumption, advanced science and technology, earth speculation, information, and globalization, he humbly emphasized the importance and necessity of the hidden hands, which symbolically means the spiritual role and assistance of religious people. Listening to his fluent talks, I could understand more about our economic situation. Then, we celebrated a Mass with a united heart for our country.

 As a part of presenting our resolution, we made up our minds to witness the life of poverty, sharing, and hope at the end of Mass. First of all, we proclaimed to witness the life of poverty. On the basis of Jesus’ teachings, we are eager to pursue a life of poverty which is very crucial and fundamental in the consecrated life. By the time we made the first profession after several years of initial education in the congregation, we profess three virtues of poverty, obedience, and chastity. This solemn promise comes from our profound longing to seek and do God’s will above anything else. Coming out of self-satisfaction and self-achievement, we promise to control and empty our personal instinctive desire and passion ultimately leading a simple and frugal life. We don’t possess many things for ourselves only. We perpetually make an effort to have the most necessary things needed for our consecrated life. If we have something, it is for the public goodness and sharing with others. Nevertheless, it’s true that some of us, if not all, have also been tempted to live luxuriously in some way. That’s why we are renewing our lives to witness the life of poverty.

 Second, we proclaimed to witness the life of sharing. Living a life of sharing is the fruit of brotherly love, and it creates solidarity in our society. Sharing is the surest way to witness our brotherly affection opened to all people. By pulling down the wall of egoism and generously giving ourselves out to neighbors, we can share what we have with whom we are living together, especially with those who are in need both spiritually and materially.

 Third, we proclaimed to witness the life of hope. We are never disappointed in troublesome and even painful circumstances because we firmly believe in Christ our savior. Rather, we are willing to encourage and console those who suffer from broken-hearted memory and despair. The gradual destruction of moral and ethical values has made people give more priority to money and power than human beings. By being a person of hope, we dare to pursue respect for the rights of human beings instead of material omnipotence, a virtue of self-control instead of over-consumerism, a spirit of service and sacrifice instead of selfish power and honor, and the joy of human development instead of epicureanism. We earnestly hope and pray that our country would be better than before through our constant efforts to reconstruct our points of view and values step by step.

 Faithfully proclaiming ourselves to witness the life of poverty, sharing, and hope, we decided to pray the rosary every day and to practice several practical points, especially for a better economic and frugal life. For example, we are constantly making efforts to save more water and electricity in the community by using cold water if possible and pulling unneeded plugs from the outlet. When the opportunity to dine out or to travel abroad is given, we have decided to say “no” as much as we can. We also reduced our individual budget to a minimum. In my case, I canceled buying new shoes for an outing; I have only one pair of shoes and sandals for summer. Besides, there are many ways to put our resolution into practice by means of using the inside of the paper, less photocopying, not giving material gifts and sending letters without special purpose, not buying foreign goods, et. “Simplify, simplify… Our life is frittered away by detail,” Henry David Thoreau said long ago.

 

The Korea Times /Thoughts of the Times/ Jan 14, 1998

Religious Congress 수도자 모임

                                                             
     (written in 1997)

Catholics are at times attacked for their hierarchical structure and its many ceremonies. I cannot deny these challenging views on the Catholic faith. Nevertheless, it is true that Catholics are constantly moving towards the renewal of religious life. Keeping this in mind, I would like to share my experience as an observer at the first International Congress of Young Women and Men Religious held in Rome from Sept. 29 to Oct. 4. This meeting was truly a challenge to reshape the role and vision of men and women religious as witnesses to God’s love and spiritual values. Over 800 participants from various religious institutions on five continents gathered to reflect upon and share their experiences and visions. Among them were six women and three men religious from Korea.

 The congress entitled “Vidimus Dominum” – We have seen the Lord – was divided into five groups according to five languages – English (256 religious people), French (137), Italian (147), Spanish (216), and German (44). Each day began with special talks focused on vocation, spirituality, communion, and mission. Meditating on these main issues, people in the group shared and presented what they had learned, experienced, and thought. They were eager to profess their joy and faith out of their experiences in the community. While listening to their voices confessing their testimonies of faith, I strongly felt the urgent need to witness living not by words only but by putting the words into practice and of inculturalization not only teaching but becoming one in spirit.

 One thing that took my interest was an interview with Sr. Nirmala who inherited the spirituality of the late Mother Teresa of Calcutta. She said in an interview that the way to renew religious life is first of all to return to the spirit of the founder. She thought that people in society were looking for holiness and gospel values from religious life. When they asked if her degree in law gave her the possibility to be more attentive and to remove the causes of poverty, she humbly answered, “No. I think that the law that God asks me to practice is a Superior law, the law of love in the Supreme Court of Heaven… What is most valuable is the law of love toward all people. How can religious life contribute to the inter-religious dialogue? There must be an increase in respect for the religion of the other person.” In this way, she was so simple and humble with her answers but certainly shared some profound truth with us.

 People could participate in this meeting via an internet homepage, including Public Place for Dialogue. The Public Place for Dialogue was particularly active with curiosity from the public: “Could you tell us what are the forces that drive you to give yourself totally to this way of life?” “Mother Teresa of Calcutta, a Catholic religious, was buried at a state funeral amidst a plural-religious ceremony in a nation where Catholics are a minority. Why such a recognition?” “Is religious life of interest to the young?” I dare to invite you to give some thoughts on these questions.

 I was inspired by one of the participants who shared the importance of honest dialogue with one another and faithfulness to God’s words as two simple elements that energize community life. Another sister shares her community experiences revealed through small gestures such as offering a larger piece of fruit to nearby companions, keeping silent when necessary in spite of curiosity, or saying “We love you; we are here”, especially in trying moments. Another representative I’d like to mention is Fr. Nike DJ preaching God’s love while dancing in a discotheque. People call him Nike he wears sports shoes while dancing.

 Christianity has endured through many ages and is now on the threshold of the new millennium. We have to renew our lives so as to live the true spirituality of communitarian life as in the apostolic era. People want to see that God loves them dearly, and we are the ones who can reveal His unconditional love to them. Inspired by God’s perpetual love and our mutual brotherhood, we can surely and willingly witness greater love among people. In what way can we reveal and witness this unconditional and constant love in our daily lives? This is our daily homework to solve every moment.

 We have seen the Lord. Our God and Savior who lives among us for the joy of humanity. We have known you and started a new life challenging the entire world to bring peace and freedom to all. We want to give thanks and praise to you. Jesus Christ, for walking in this world. We sing together to the Lord who is life and joy for us.

 

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Oct. 25, 1997

Being with others 다른 사람들과 함께

                                                       
          (written in 1997)

In this post-modern society characterized by information technology, electronic networks, globalization, virtual communities, and cyberspace, we can be together even without meeting others in person. We are not with others in a physical way, but we can still communicate with one another in a manifold way, beyond time and space. This togetherness is realized not through direct human contact filled with love, but through cyber-technology. This kind of scientific togetherness is expanding more and more owing to human longings for a worldwide network. Nevertheless, we are hardly satisfied with this phenomenon. Something is missing in being together in the virtual community.

 What do you think is missing? I think it is love. Truly, communication without love and compassion is possible and useful in this cyber-era, but not so meaningful and touching. What I have longed for and searched for so far is to be together with love in deed – to be together by means of communication through love.

 My pursuit of togetherness goes back to my subconscious beginnings when I struggled a lot due to the reality of being alienated from my surroundings. I felt little solidarity with my family, in spite of their care and love. My heart was so closed that I wasn’t fully able to see and hear and feel the love of my family. There were certain subconscious barriers. Those childhood emotions made a deep impact on my social life. I thought I did not care for much.

 For example, I had a friend whom I missed dearly in high school. I enjoyed being with her. I was even jealous when she was familiar with others. I wanted to be with her and was naturally heartbroken when she turned away from me by the time we graduated from high school. Facing a sense of loss deep in my heart, I tried to meet her again, but couldn’t find a way to do so. Sometime later, I heard that she had married a man after graduating from the university.

 This broken friendship thereafter caused gloomy reactions toward other people. My fear of human relationships, which actually sprouted from my childhood memory of being alone and alienated, made me face some difficulties in being with others. I was more used to being alone and doing things by myself. On the other hand, I was deeply and personally longing for being and doing things with others.

 I studied again, after a two and half years break since graduating from high school. My strong will and resolution made possible the impossible. I concentrated on studying, and the result was satisfactory. I could have married a man if I had said yes to his proposal. However, my life goals were somewhat religious and oriented toward Heaven. I could have become acquainted with various friends, but I had committed myself to studying alone. In fact, I couldn’t have a satisfactory relationship with others around me, mainly because of fears lingering in my subconscious.

 After a tearful search for a meaningful life, I finally entered religious life. I have lived together with other sisters in the community of the Daughters of St. Paul (Figlie di San Paolo in Italian) since 1992. It has only been in this consecrated community that I have sincerely begun to learn and experience the true meaning of being with others. Used to being alone, I had become rather introverted. However, while living with many other sisters in the community, I had to undergo a personal spiritual journey so as to purge my sense of alienation and loneliness.

 I cried a lot on the way to overcoming my emotional distractions and immaturity in human relationships. Jealousy, possession, and self-pity that had been imprisoned in my hollow subconscious made me suffer inwardly, but the amazing grace of God and the sisters’ generous love have allowed me to experience God’s intense, perfect, forgiving, and universal love. It took considerable time for me to learn the community spirit. Renouncing and emptying out my desire to be with those whom I love more, my selfishness has come to the front so as to be cured day by day, especially with the help of spiritual counseling, prayer, and meditation. By experiencing the joy of being with others, I was able to understand, accept, and little by little love others as they are.

 Through all the struggles and tearful joys, in February of this year, after 5 years of initial formation, I finally made my first profession. What I have learned from that period? In a word, I can say I have learned to be with others “in person,” through loving and being loved in the universal community spirit. I could be alone outside this community, but I am still living together with many sisters in the community. I could do something alone, but I am choosing to do something noble, with others. In spite of all the conflicts I have to cope with, I haven’t given up the spiritual opportunity of being in this communal religious life. Learning and experiencing the value of being with others, I am offering my life for the apostolate by means of mass communications, so as to be with people and love them in the company of Jesus, who reveals himself in a mutual relationship of love.

 Do you think that highly developed information technology can provide us with the heartfelt joy and peace of being together in the brotherly love and communion of the community? Being with others in true love can only heal our wounded hearts and brighten society.

 

The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ July 26, 1997

Radio Veritas 라디오 베리타스

             (written in 1990)

 My part-time work experience at Radio Veritas began with Sr. Paola Kim's recommendation when I came to the Philippines in the middle of 1988.

At the radio station, I was assigned to the World Catholic News program, which deals with various issues and events of the world’s Catholics. I spend a day working to get my 15-minute broadcast ready: I have to read, select, summarize, and translate English news materials into Korean. I work at Radio Veritas for about three hours a week. With my translation, I, with a religious brother, work to broadcast the Korean news program. It has been on the air for over one year. Even though I have to budget my precious time for this part-time job, I’m glad to have an opportunity to experience something new, different, interesting, meaningful, and fruitful, in the sense that I’m a part of the Catholic Church’s mission to proclaim the Good News and to improve human development.

 Probably by this time your curiosity about Radio Veritas has been aroused. Radio Veritas, which celebrated its 20th-anniversary last year, means “the voice of truth.” (You will know the truth and the truth will make you free. – John 8:32) Radio Veritas is the only non-profit and non-commercial Asian Catholic radio station located in Quezon City, Philippines, mainly sponsored by German and several other Catholic organizations. It is not only the voice of Christianity in Asia where Christians comprise only about 6 percent, others being 12 percent Hindu, 28 percent Moslem, 17 percent Buddhist, and 10 percent Confucian, but also the voice of everybody’s conscience.

 Radio Veritas is committed “to proclaim the message of God’s love to the peoples of Asia by producing human developmental and Catholic evangelization programs in cooperation with recognized production centers and by transmitting these programs via short wave and medium wave radio and other related means of electronic media.” In short, Radio Veritas has two aspiring tasks or missions: proclaiming the message of evangelization and establishing total human development.

 With special target areas on the silent churches in Mainland China, Vietnam, North Korea, Burma, Bangladesh, and Pakistan, 16 languages are used in broadcasting throughout the Radio Veritas short wave programs: Bahasa Indonesian, Bengali, Burmese, Filipino, Hindi, Japanese, Korean, Kachin, Karen, Mandarin, Russian, Sinhala, Tamil, Telugu, Urdu, and Vietnamese. Its personnel is, of course, from the representative countries and they usually stay in the Philippines for about two years by rotation.

 The history of Radio Veritas goes back to Pope Pius XII who had the idea of building an Asian Catholic church radio station. Inspired by the Pope, several bishops from Southeast Asia met in Manila in 1958 with building construction starting in 1965 with help from Germany. Filipino domestic programs first went on the air in 1967, followed by overseas broadcasts in 1969. It was stopped in 1973 but was back on the air in 1976. It has flourished and has had fruitful results in broadcasting 16 languages including Filipino, the national language of the Philippines, since then.

 Radio Veritas established its reputation as “the voice of truth” and as “voiceless opposition” especially during the period following Ninoy Aquino’s assassination, surviving Marcos’ martial law. It was only Radio Veritas that broadcast the event when it was in the midst of Marcos’ threat at that time. During the 1986 Philippines presidential election, it was through Radio Veritas that the so-called “People Power” was organized during the EDSA revolution, which put an end to Marcos’ 20-year dictatorship. Almost everybody remembers what Radio Veritas did to proclaim the truth and freedom to depose an oppressive and corrupt Marcos regime.

 Korean programs have been broadcast since 1980 and will celebrate their 10^th anniversary on July 1, 1990. All six staff, two sisters, two brothers, and two part-timers like me, are doing their best to meet the sublime goal of Radio Veritas. You may listen to the Korean program from Radio Veritas if you are willing to move your cycle to 9.710 MHz from 6:00-6:25 a.m. and 9.555 MHz from 10:00-10:25 p.m. every day. Why don’t you try? I am sure you’ll find something new and interesting, whether you are Christian or not. If you are interested, why don’t you send a letter to be a friend of the Korean program? The address is Radio Veritas Asia, P. O. Box 939, Manila, Philippines. Or you can also receive more information by contacting the Catholic Mass Communication Committee in Seoul (Tel. 756-7921).

 Since my program is the World Catholic news, I try to read to keep abreast of the various news from all over the world so that I can digest the issues and problems that this bustling globe has. News materials I broadcast are mainly drawn from “Asia Focus” (a weekly from the Union of Catholic Asian News: UCAN), but I also consult with the “Church in the World” and Associated Press items as well as several Filipino newspapers such as “The Daily Globe,” “Philippines Daily Inquirer,” “The Manila Times,” and “Manila Bulletin.” I sometimes feel sorry because I do not have enough time to put more energy into my part-time job and to help the Korean service more due to my busy and pressing studies. Working at Radio Veritas, however, has gotten rid of my tension and stress replacing it with friendship and relaxation. Going to Radio Veritas and meeting Korean brothers and sisters once a week surely relieve my loneliness and pressure in studying abroad. The tension I have from my work is productive because it makes me work harder and because it keeps me awake all the time. It doesn’t really matter how meager money I get from it because I am proud of helping the church and of belonging to its mission. Imagine that North Koreans listen to this program!

 I wasn’t, in fact, a good translator from the beginning but am happy to realize that I am improving moment by moment. The most encouraging experience or advantage I have through my part-time job is that I can relate to various kinds of serious issues in the world. It is not confined to Catholics only. Through the Catholic moral point of view, it tries to reveal the problems we have such as human rights violations, the gap between the poor, weak, or marginalized and the rich or strong, labor issues, ecumenical movements, silent church activity, democratic movement, etc., along with Catholic Church movements.

 As I work in Radio Veritas, I’m always happy to think that my prejudiced eyes widen and my microcosm is inspired by knowing the world: its people and its problems. Shedding my limitations and weaknesses through understanding the world, I aspire to be a better person who can do something good and helpful to the world not because it is good to me but because it is good in itself.

The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Feb 9, 1990

Inferiority Complex 열등감

                                                          
     (written in 1990)

“Inferiority complex” is often talked about in our bustling daily lives. Especially in this competitive society, many middle and high school students commit suicide owing to a sense of inferiority deepened, even unconsciously, in their hearts. We get intimidated when we don’t know how to cope with reality as it is. It lingers with us when we compare ourselves to others for not being able to accept us as we are. It is actually not easy to overcome such a delicate and complicated underlying consciousness of being inferior even though it seems that we know ourselves and accept our realities as they are. How sensitive and fragile we are!

 It was Alfred Adler who coined the term “inferiority complex.” He said that a human being’s behavior is his/her reaction to his/her inferiority; she/he responds in a particular way because she/he lacks something and tries to compensate for something else. One classic example of a human reaction mainly caused by a sense of inferiority is that of Richard III, one of the historical plays by William Shakespeare. It is very clear that the main motivation for Richard Duke of Gloucester’s continuous political murders is the “inferiority complex.” He laments that even dogs bark at his lame and misshaped hunched back. He feels so deeply resentful of the ugly appearance that he finally claims himself a villain:

       “Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,

        Have no delight to pass away the time,

        Unless to see my shadow in the sun

        And descant on mine own deformity

        And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover

        To entertain these fair well-spoken days,

        I am determined to prove a villain

        And hate the idle pleasures of these days.”

     
          (From Richard III, I,i,11.24-31)

 Richard is very sorry because he can’t enjoy what others enjoy in the “piping time of peace” and these well-spoken days.” Although his deformity is always in his consciousness, he abhors its appearance more with each sight. He is, in fact, jealous of others with normal figures. Cursing his unproportioned appearance and others' happiness, Richard instead chooses to do harm to others to prove his “naked villainy.” He, fancying himself a villain, becomes a blood-stained tyrant to usurp the power and the honor to be a king. Thus in “Richard III,” it is very obvious that the underlying cause of Richard’s dictatorship and tyranny is provoked by his own inferiority complex: he compensates for his weakness with something much more powerful.

 It would be an interesting question “What kind of inferiority complex or limitation did Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, Napoleon, and Marcos have??” How about Kim Il-sung? How about our former presidents Park Chung-hee and Chun Doo-hwan? Brain-washed and narrow-minded politicians and other ugly people sharing their spirits? I think there is something hidden behind their thirst for power and the superficial glory of dominance.

 We are, indeed, so fragile that we often let inferior feelings easily hurt us. It is not easy to escape from these emotions. Nevertheless, we can control and overcome them to make them more constructive, positive, and optimistic. Before I came to the University of the Philippines (U.P.) on June 10, 1988, almost every friend and professor asked me “Why not America but the Philippines?” Discouraged by their comments, I often couldn’t respond but just be humble and withdrawn. One of the government officials even asked me “Why not Manila but Diliman? Where is Diliman?” She didn’t even know that U.P. has five campuses, the main campus of which is in Diliman, Quezon City.

 Especially during the so-called “sixth coup d’etat” in the Philippines, I even thoughts of going to some other country even though I know I couldn’t make it. Why am I studying in the Philippines when many people consider the Philippines a weak and poor country?

 The reality, which I have to face, seems cold to me, but I believe that it is my microcosm to which I must begin and be independent. Whenever a sense of inferiority grips me, I talk to myself: “If you don’t accept reality as it is, you will float here and there without any specific identity or goal. Don’t be discouraged. Just do your best in your place. Think more positively and optimistically. Try to experience, share, and learn something unique in the Philippines and be prepared.” Accepting myself and my life as they are, I can be happy with my own microcosm and be more positive and optimistic in spite of all the popular opinions and difficulties I face here in U.P. How nice it is to do my best to create a better world instead of complaining about the present situation? It’s one step toward leading a better life, especially inwardly and spiritually, that I know and accept my limitations in a positive, independent, and constructive way. A simple and bright future is built upon self-acceptance which is not believed to be pessimistic or negative but to be one step closer to perceiving reality as well as life itself. Self-acceptance is a basic and sure way to go forward.

 Let me share with you one passage posted on the wall in my microcosmic room:

      “Direct your eye right inward, and you’ll find

        A thousand regions in your mind

        Yet undiscovered. Travel them, and be

        Expert in home-cosmography.”

        (Henry David Thoreau, "Walden," Chapter 18)

  

The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Jan 20, 1990

Zaccheus 자캐오

        (written in 2006)

Luke in the New Testament talks about Zaccheus who was a wealthy tax collector. He was very stingy and cold-hearted but was saved by meeting Jesus. The key point in this story is his inner transformation bringing about joy. Looking at his behavior, his neighbors often scorned and even called him a sinner; however, he is changed into a new being.

 Meditating on his inner change, we see we can also overcome our limits or weak points and we are filled with hopeful possibilities. Let me share with you this story of change rewritten by a Korean writer with imagination. With the hope that people in society will help each other, I share with you this story.

 Zaccheus was a very short man and a demanding tax collector. He tried very hard to get more money through taxes. He even lied in his neighbor's room until the neighbor gave him money. So people said, "Well, I'll never go around his house." As time went by, people didn't like to visit his house. Even though people begged,  "We will starve to death without this money", Zaccheus took the money without considering their situation. Nobody ever talked to Zaccheus, saying "I'll never come too close to Zaccheus."

 One day, Zaccheus went home cheerfully with a gold ring he took from his neighbor. Little by little, people turned away from him. Children even made fun of him singing, "A lion is in the mountain and Zaccheus is in the castle." Naturally, Zaccheus became very lonely. He was not happy even though he acquired so much treasure. He sang a song but it was like a groan. "I wish I could have a friend! If Jesus comes, he would be a friend to anybody."

 Then Zaccheus saw people going somewhere while making noise outside. "What's up?" he asked. He learned that Jesus was passing by. Many people had gathered in the yard. All of a sudden, people clapped their hands and shouted aloud. They said a man was coming from afar with splendid sunshine. He was Jesus.

 People were striving to be the first to see Jesus as close to him as possible. Short Zaccheus had to walk up and down restlessly at the back of the frow and stand on his toes. However, that was of no use. "What would happen if I miss Jesus!" he asked himself.

 At that moment, he noticed a sycamore tree in the corner of the yard. As Zaccheus climbed up the tree branch by branch, people's eyes widened and they asked one another, "Wow! What does he do now?" Zaccheus climbed the tree no matter how people scorned him.

 At that moment, he met Jesus face to face. Zaccheus had never seen such a warm and strong look. He almost fell from the tree. Jesus said, "Zaccheus, come down. I'll stay at your house today." As he hurried down, Zaccheus missed his footing, slipped, and fell on his backside. He didn't hurt himself and everybody laughed.

 "Jesus, come here," said Zaccheus, pointing the way to guide Jesus to his house. His lips were open, and his hips and shoulders were moving up and down. Silently smiling and looking at the back of Zaccheus, Jesus said "I see. Let's take time to visit."

 "Dear honey, Jesus has come! My children, Jesus came to our house! Please come  to see him." When Zaccheus looked at Jesus, he was moved to tears. Nobody came to his home, but what a happy thing it is that Jesus went to his home. Everybody scorned him, but Jesus accepted him.

 At last, Zaccheus cried. "What happened to me? Jesus is having a meal with such a sinner!" At that moment, Zaccheus sitting in front of Jesus sprang to his feet. He took out the treasure chest from the attic and gave it to the poor. "Jesus, I'll pay back all the things I cheated and took from others." His voice was trembling.

 Facing and embracing Zaccheus with joy, Jesus said, "At last, I found one person of God's kingdom. I have come to find out sinners like Zaccheus". All his family was joyful and hugged him. Zaccheus was no longer lonely but filled with joy. He talked all night long with Jesus who has become his friend and smiled to the fullest.

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ July 25, 2006