(written in 2007)
"Forgive your brothers until seventy times seven!" How is it possible? How do we forgive and how do we forget? It seems it's not easy to forgive others. I can forgive by reason, but it takes time to forgive from the heart.
The recent movie 'Secret Sunshine' shows the painful but healing process of forgiveness. The husband of a very young woman died suddenly in a car accident, and her only son also died suddenly through the actions of a man whom she knew.
He demanded she brings a large sum of money if she wanted to save the son. Unfortunately, every effort to save the son was of no use, and she lost everything in a single night. She lost what she treasured most.
Nevertheless, she felt the presence of God and accepted Jesus as her savior. And one day, she even decided to visit the man in prison. However, when she faced him, she found him to be peaceful and healthy. She expected him to be repenting, miserable, and thin.
She told him she came to send God's love, but he confessed that he'd already accepted Jesus who forgave his sins. At this moment, she thought she could forgive him but couldn't accept the reality. So, she ran away from God, who she found after much hesitation and conflict.
On the other hand, love grows on and on. Love is like a secret sunshine warming, moving, and touching the heart. A man loves her and does everything for her. He is so willing to protect her in spite of her rejection that he is constantly with her like a secret sunshine.
Is God in the sunshine? How can we perceive and feel his presence in the sunshine? Does God really exist and is alive? If he is love, how can a sudden death or pain grasp us? Can we see him? Such questions were raised by the protagonist of the movie.
I can see him everywhere. I see him in the smile of people. I see him in generous love and charity. I see him in nature with various colors. I see him in the healing process of each person and even in the pain of others. I see him when my sisters encourage and empower me and others. I see him in the rain and in the sunshine as well. I see him everywhere.
I recently read 'The Power of Forgiving' by Everett L. Worthington Jr. Talking about the secret of forgiving others, the author emphasizes remembering the past first because memory is not totally erased but is only transformed.
The joy comes from the healing restoration of relationships. The power of forgiving is hidden in this transformation. Like finding buried treasure, we can change ourselves, and the present situation, through this power of forgiveness.
The author was shocked when a rubber broke into his house to steal money and killed his old mother. As a psychologist majoring in family counseling, he knew how to forgive but it wasn't so easy to accept the reality.
However, he believes that forgiveness is like digging treasures buried deep in the earth. Forgiveness leads us to physical and mental health, personal peace, and happiness. Once finding the treasure, a peaceful joy comes and presents itself among us like a secret sunshine. Forgiveness is surely the way to inner peace and a renewed relationship with love.
Living or working together, we easily hurt one another with little things. Sometimes, it's not easy to forgive even though it's a little thing.
How do we forgive and renew our relationship? I think it's possible by the grace of the Holy Spirit. Somebody or some presence has to be involved. Reading a good book, with true-to-life experiences, is one way to purify the mind and prepare the heart to accept reality or the situation.
The other day, I thought I did forgive a friend. However, I found myself trying to keep my distance from her. At Easter Mass, we had time to share cheerful greetings with each other, but I was avoiding greeting her and actually didn't approach her.
I thought I forgave not only her but me as well, but I did not feel happy and free to face her. Of course, we talked together to work, but it was somewhat different from heart-to-heart issues.
It was only when I read a book on mutual relationships that I changed my attitude. Tears streamed down my cheeks at dawn, and I was able to empty my heart. It was a new day and I could try it again.
https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/opinion/2007/06/137_5198.html
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