(written in 2003)
What a happy thing it is for me to feel somebody is very close to me. Near me are there my family and many sisters in the community. I feel assured just knowing that all of us are breathing together under the same cause of life. Among them, I'd like to talk about my second sister who always thinks of sharing everything in two--one for her and the other for me. Of course, she dedicates her life to others around her, but I would like to mention only these two shares this time.
In fact, I and my sister did not grow up together, because she went away from home to study and work in the city. She stayed at the house of our eldest brother. Furthermore, she entered the Congregation when I was very young. I resembled her very much; so my mother said that God gave birth to me to console her sadness due to the departure of her second daughter. My mother really felt sorry because of the absence of my second sister. I also missed her a lot at that time even though she used to send me letters. I still remember my visit to her community. I cried a lot because I didn't want to leave that place; I wanted to be with her.
There is a 13-year gap between us, but she has become a strong support. She faithfully paid attention to me, especially when I wandered during adolescence, when I had to make difficult decisions and when I tried to achieve my dream. She just accepted me as I was even without asking me why I was doing this or that. She has been sincere and cheerful enough to give me positive feedback. In this way, she helped me to live with joy and hope. I feel the presence of God from her especially when she accepts me as I am. I really envy her ability to contemplate the beautiful and amazing presence of God.
Time has gone quickly and I'm now living in the same Congregation that my sister entered a long ago. As I walk this spiritual journey, I feel overflowing, heartfelt gratitude towards her and God as well. She has given consideration to my true happiness and tries to share all that is good in life. It has been almost 11 years since I began this religious life. I thought of giving up this life several times before, but I am still going on.
One of the reasons is thanks to my sister. She truly has motherly love. I feel good and happy when I am grateful for somebody's kindness and goodwill. I think our lives can be more joyful and generous when we are willing to give thanks to others. Gratitude is a stepping stone on the way to universal sisterhood or brotherhood. I can't reward my sister's generous and unconditional love enough. She is such a person who inspires and encourages me day in and day out.
She had also undergone difficult moments in her life. Probably because she experienced trials, she is now able to enjoy her contemplation in every moment of life. I respect her way of contemplating the present moment. She is not only correct and clear, but also generous, spontaneous, inspiring, sensitive, intuitive, and cheerful. She enjoys cooking as well; I think she is the best cook. I respect her because she believes in the potential power of spirituality.
One of the stories she likes to quote is about an ugly duckling that turned out to be a swan. The ugly duckling didn't know her true identity in the beginning but found her true meaning of existence when she saw a group of beautiful swans. Later on, she changed into a swan. It is a story of inner transformation. Surely we can be freer and happier when we recognize our inner spiritual power. I believe each of us is on the way to this self-transformation.
When I heard my sister is leaving for Italy again, I couldn't but cry even while reading several books she gave me. I enjoy reading "Women who run with the wolves", Tuesdays with Morrie", and "www.internet.God". She will be away from me, but her spirit will live in this world.
The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ April 25, 2003
No comments:
Post a Comment