Four-Leaf Clovers 네 잎 클로버

                                                          

       (written in 2003)

One day, I read an article about a high school teacher who enjoys collecting four-leaf clovers so that she can give them to students under stress. I found it interesting because I also like to collect four-leaf clovers. Whenever I take a walk, I try to look closely at clovers. What a happy thing it is for me to give them to people around me. Something unusual and extraordinary always brings about excitement and refreshment.

 I feel good when I find four-leaf clovers. The other day, I visited my father's grave to tidy it up with my eldest brother and second sister. There were no clovers around his tomb before, but I found one root of clovers this time. It seems that the wind took it from somewhere else. Many leaves were growing from one root. All of a sudden, I found five four-leaf clovers. I was so joyful that I shouted aloud. I gladly picked all of them, wishing more would grow sooner or later. I tried to find other clovers near other graves but couldn't find any.

 For me, a four-leaf clover is a special sign. I could see that my father in heaven looks after me constantly. He would surely wish I could do my job well. We, Catholics, believe in the communion of saints. Of course, my father is not a saint but was only a farmer and carpenter. Nevertheless, I think he can be with other good people in heaven and share communion. I trust he can do something good for me, my family, and the world. Finding four-leaf clovers near his tomb made me so cheerful that I began to encourage myself. I said to myself, “Yes. I can. I can do it.”

 When I have to do something new and challenging, I'm a bit afraid of my capability. I don't know whether it will bring good results or not. Just believing in Providence, I entrust and commit myself. When I pick four-leaf clovers, I usually give them to others. I am happy to see them joyful. The more we give, the more we can share together and expand ourselves beyond our personal limits.

 

One for my brother

Another for my sister

The other is for uncle

The fourth is for a friend

 

When giving all, to me

Is another following

 

That's why it's called

'Four-leaf clover'

 

A similar joy comes from unexpected love. Looking for four-leaf clovers is like finding something good hidden among ordinary things. You may call it luck or fortune, but I think it is beyond luck. Something good is hidden so that joy can get bigger. Unexpected kindness or love brings more happiness and makes us feel grateful. I feel like crying when I'm neglected. Probably it's because I am the type of person who needs some encouragement and warm-hearted concern. However, being a sister means to love rather than to be loved, to encourage rather than to be encouraged. I realize loving and being loved are the basic needs for all of us.

 I recently read a good book about self-love. “Loving Yourself for God's Sake” by Adolfo Quezada emphasizes the necessity of loving ourselves first before loving others. Loving ourselves above all is something like a stepping-stone towards the whole love. We are able to love others as much as we love ourselves. This book talks about loving and being loved by God, loving ourselves, embracing our total self, reconciling our past, being responsible for ourselves, giving meaning to our lives, attending to living, and loving beyond ourselves. Jesus also says ``love your neighbor as you love yourself.''

 Let me conclude my story with the following quotation about true love: “I met God in my dream. God asked me, `Do you want to talk with me?' `If you have time,' I said. God smiled and said, `My time is eternal. What do you want to ask me about?' `As of people, what surprises you most?' God answered that `they live their childhood unhappily, rush to be grown-ups, and then long for childhood again. They lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health. They forget the present moment by worrying too much about the future. In this way, they live neither in the present time nor in the future. They live as if they will never die, and they pass away as if they have never lived before.' God took me by the hand.”

 “We kept silent for a while. Then, I asked him. `As a present, what do you expect your children to learn in their lives without fail?' `I want them to learn that they cannot make anyone love them; all they can do is let themselves be loved. They have to learn that it is not good to compare themselves with others. They have to learn how to forgive by forgiving. They have to learn that it only takes a few seconds to hurt awfully those whom they love, but it might take many years to heal them.”

 “They have to learn that the rich are not the one who has the most but is the one who doesn't need much. They have to learn that there are people who love them dearly without knowing how to express or show their inner feelings. They have to learn that two people can look at the same thing but in different ways. They have to learn that it is not enough for them to forgive one another; they must forgive themselves as well.' I said humbly, `Thank you for your time. Is there anything else that you want your children to know?' God said with a smile. `Just know that I am here always with you.'”

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ July 25, 2003