What Is Real? 무엇이 진짜인가?

          (written in 1997)

Have you heard the story of the velveteen rabbit by Margery Williams? There was once a velveteen rabbit who longed to be real. The body cherished this rabbit toy for about two hours when it was first brought to him. Then, he put aside this plaything because of other expensive mechanical toys like a model train. The rabbit wondered "what is real?" The leather horse who was close to the rabbit in the nursery told him that "real isn't how you are made. It's a thing that happens to you when a child loves you for a long, long time, not just plays with you but really loves you. Then, you become real."

 Later on, the boy once more enjoyed playing with the rabbit. The rabbit became shabbier because the boy hugged, played, and slept with it. Nevertheless, the rabbit was very happy as if be a tree that gives everything unconditionally to a person. When the boy was ill with scarlet fever, however, the doctor advised his family to burn all his books and playthings. The rabbit was thrown out to be burned the next morning. The rabbit cried.

 To his surprise, his tear turned into a mysterious flower and a fairy came out of it. And the fairy said that "you became real because the boy loved you. Now you will become real to everyone." The velveteen rabbit then turned into a real rabbit and was very happy. What a great joy for the velveteen rabbit to realize the truth of being real through loving and being loved!

 This impressive story tells us a very touching message of being real through love. When do we become real? We become real when we love one another. Love lets us be true, cheerful, and lively. Loving others is easier especially when we are open-hearted but is difficult when we are closed or narrow-minded, for our love opens our eyes. Love is both the breeze and the storm; it is the breeze when we are generous and peaceful but the storm at the same time when we are jealous and possessive. These dual realities of being the breeze and the storm fight it out in our minds.

 What is real? We become real when we love one another. "The answer to every question in this world is love." It was the subtitle of the black and white movie, "Jesus Christ". Love is truly the most crucial and essential part of our lives. Love makes something possible and valuable. The last examination of our lives will be surely on love. Nothing can either substitute or exceed love; love transcends all things.

 I recently read a book entitled "gazing at That Big Star in the Night Sky" by Fr. Matthew Ko. As I passed each page of this book, I was deeply touched by his pure friendship with Sr. Jeanne with whom he was acquainted during his seminarian study in the late 1950s in France. She wanted to commit suicide when she learned that she was an illegitimate child.

 Fortunately, she met a seminarian and could overcome her crisis of identity. Later on, she entered a nunnery and went to Africa for a nursing mission. Until she died of cancer in 1996, she could meet Fr. Ko only a few times. But their friendship and love grew up beyond time and space. They shared their spiritual lives through letters. They couldn't be united physically because of their spiritual ideal, but they became one spiritually. They were real and true to each other because they loved dearly. Praying, sacrificing, encouraging, enduring, and giving some advice when necessary, they built a lovely spiritual friendship as we can read in the above-mentioned book published by Pauline.

   Love makes us be real by means of the process of healing, changing, and growing. Fr. Ko's attentive communication with a girl who was going to commit suicide healed her unconscious wounds. Their spiritual relationship changed both of them; a young seminarian could renew his vision for helping people overcome their hurts and live a new life, and the girl could be a member of a blessed community. They both grew up to dedicate their lives to the alienated and the powerless--one in Africa and the other in Canada. Their loves were real. One of them has passed away, but their friendship will last forever. Truly, we become real when we love one another.

  The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ August 31, 1997