Listening: Essence of Communion 경청: 친교의 본질

      (written in 2003)

Since I entered the Daughters of St. Paul, I have studied and known the life and activity of St. Paul. So far, various opportunities have been given to me with the aim of enhancing the order's way of life.

 One summer, I had a chance to participate in a special seminar on St. Paul. Through that seminar, I was inspired and encouraged to make a resolution to be another St. Paul. Keeping my personal history in mind, the seminar was a gift that changed my inner world.

 I would like to talk about one thing that changed me the most. It is about listening. When the lecturer mentioned listening, I was so deeply moved and touched that my eyes were filled with silent tears. She said listening was the starting point for St. Paul's inner transformation. Truly, listening is the first step of repentance. Paul totally changed his life when he truly listened to the voice of Jesus Christ. Needless to say, listening is the stepping stone on the spiritual journey.

 Even though listening is a fundamental part of human relationships, it's not always easy for us to pay attention to others. There are various reasons for not listening well. A self-centered way of thinking, a closed point of view, excessive concentration on one󰡑s duties or work, a lack of sympathy or and a strong attachment to somebody are some reasons people fail to listen well.

 Sometimes we can find ourselves feeling that our body is present together with others but our heart is away from them. I don󰡑t remember all the things said on the table. In fact, we can't hear others when we have something else on our minds. Some people will probably think of us as dull-witted if we ask the same question again after a conversation. A hasty person can be uneasy and angry from time to time because of this failure to communicate.

 Listening well is truly the basis of community. During a coffee break, one of my sisters approached me and said, "Do you remember how you were before?"

 "Of course, I do. It's me," I answered. When I said "It's me," I meant I was not listening well enough to others before. I answered this way, but I felt I myself was put on the cross. Even though I accepted myself the way it was, I felt under the weather when my sister reconfirmed my past behavior of not listening well sometimes.

 When the selfish will or plan comes first, it becomes difficult to listen to others _ as well as to God. Prejudice and pride come first when we don󰡑t listen to others because of selfish thoughts. Listening is the fruit of unconditional love and emptiness. It is not a burden but a joyful sharing with others. It is an art of love. It is a willing and open response to God and an expression of love and communion. Attentive listening is a starting point for everything such as dialogue, brotherly love, communion, communication, cooperation, and obedience. All these virtues start from listening. Listening is not easy but a very basic ability towards a fuller and broader communication.

 The Holy Mary is a good example of listening. Being a woman of silence and contemplation, she let what she listened to come true. When the angel Gabriel said to her, "Rejoice, so highly favored! The Lord is with you," she was deeply disturbed and asked herself what this greeting could mean. Nevertheless, there was no loud response but a silent self-questioning or pondering herself at first. In the end, she listened first and then made her choice to follow God's will, confessing "I'm the handmaid of the Lord, let what you have said be done to me." Remaining in a deep, silent contemplation means an act of listening. Listening comes from inner silence.

 In the Gospels, there are several occasions implying the fact that Mary is a woman of listening. First, by the time she gave birth to Jesus and witnessed the shepherds visiting the baby Jesus lying in the manger, Mary "treasured all these things and pondered them in the heart." The behavior of treasuring and pondering are related to listening, which requires patient endurance and waiting. Those who are able to listen attentively can keep silent, treasure, and ponder upon the given situation. Mary is such a woman.

 The second example of listening is when Jesus stayed in Jerusalem alone at the age of twelve years old. So Mary worried and looked for him, but "stored up all these things in her heart." The behavior of storing up all these things is similar to that of treasuring and pondering.

 Another example of listening is the occasion of the wedding party at Cana in Galilee. Mary said only twice: "They have no wine" to Jesus, and "Do whatever he tells you" to the servants. These two sentences are very simple and concrete without wordy explanation or exaggeration. Mary is not talkative but simple and direct. A miracle happened to please all the guests. Only those who can listen to their inner voice, the voices of people and God can be simple and honest in their way of talking. Those who are able to listen well have more inner power. And Mary is such a person.

 A fourth example is when Mary stood near the cross of Jesus. She didn't say anything but just listened to Jesus in the midst of suffering. Jesus said to his mother, "Woman, this is your son" and to the disciple, "this is your mother." From that moment the disciple made a place for her in his home. There was no exaggerated and sorrowful expression. Silence and listening remained to the end.

 Being an attentive and patient listener, she could follow God's will up to the cross of Jesus Christ. If she wasn't able to listen to her inner voice and follow God's calling, the work of redemption might have been impossible. She cooperated through her willing listening which demanded much courage, renunciation, self-control, sacrifice, endurance, and vision as well. Her listening ability made God's will of redemption be accomplished.

 Jesus also said those who listen to God's words are blessed: "Still happier are those who hear the word of God and keep it … My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and put it into practice." In these words, it is clear to see that listening brings about true happiness and communion. Jesus proves in his sayings that listening to God's words leads to the greatest happiness in our lives. Listening carefully and attentively to others is truly essential and necessary in communication. 

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Feb. 11, 2003