"Merry Christmas!" Buon Natale!"
Every year, we celebrate Christmas. During the holiday season, we find nativity scenes throughout the world. Whether Catholic or Protestant, Christmas has become a universally festive occasion. Would Jesus be born again in any of those beautifully and elegantly decorated
mangers? Where can we search for Jesus in this world filled with disasters,
terrorism, and hostility?
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The poetry of Theodore Roethke is abundant in the metaphorical journey to the "interior"
out of the self to become something more. Theodore Roethke in his poems is
deeply conscious of the fundamental human problem, which is to "find out
what one really is: whether one exists, whether existence is possible."
Prodded by this lifelong problem, his "long journey out of the self"
to be "something wholly other" is going on perpetually in his poems.
He went "far to find out what he is," and this inward spiritual
journey "from I to Otherwise, or maybe even to Thee" is going on in
our lives as well.
Like Roethke, I too have dreamed of going beyond myself. I wanted to find my
true self and fly freely like a bird and like a butterfly. Freely, freely, I
wanted to go beyond the vertical limits. Consciously or unconsciously, we have
a dream to be free to love and to live to the fullest.
This is not only an individual dream but a universal dream that each of us has.
This dream will go on until the end of the world.
Fr. James Alberione, the founder of the Pauline Family, also had a dream and
the vision to reach out to the needs of humanity, and now 10 organizations
including The Daughters of St Paul are spread over the world at the moment. At
the beginning of its history, it was like a tiny dot but it has built up a
network throughout the world. So we are moving and flying around like a
butterfly.
All of us have a dream to be free and to go beyond limited situations. When
I arrived in Rome last Monday, one of our Pauline sisters led me to the roof of
the building and showed me the whole landscape of the main convent of the general
government built in the shape of a butterfly. Those who designed and built the
convent 40 years ago might have thought of spiritual freedom to see God in all
situations beyond human limits and to love others as they are with utmost
mercy and compassion.
Like butterflies, we are constantly longing to be truly free to love and serve.
That freedom to love others as they are comes from personal experiences of
mercy and forgiveness.
The Catholic Church throughout the world is now celebrating the extraordinary
jubilee year of mercy (Giubileo straordinario della misericordia) from the
feast day of the Immaculate Conception on December 8 this year to the Feast of
Christ the King on November 20, 2016. On December 8, the Holy Door is opened as
a door of mercy; it is really a special year to experience the love of God who
always consoles, pardons, forgives, inspires, and instills hope. We are also
invited to forgive, reconcile and love without limits.
Since 700 years ago, the Catholic Church has celebrated the jubilee every 25
years. So far, 26 jubilees have been proclaimed and celebrated throughout the
whole of Catholic communities. Among them, only three jubilees have been
regarded as "extraordinary." In this special period of experiencing
God's mercy, various moments of indulgences are widely expanded to be absolved
from sins such as abortion, schism, division, confrontation, hatred, war,
terror, and others.
In the jubilee year, we become much more joyful and grateful because our sins
have been forgiven and absolved. A new life begins.
"Have mercy on us, Lord. Have mercy on us!" (Psalm 123:3)
The spirit of 'Kyrie Eleison' becomes the constant petition of those who trust
in the merciful hands of God.
We pray and ask God to be merciful and gracious to us, and God has always been
merciful and compassionate along the way of our lives. Jesus also advises us to
"be merciful" just as our Father in Heaven is merciful (Luke 6:36).
The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times. December 11, 2015
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/opinion/2021/03/162_192892.html
“Oh, my goodness, I made so many mistakes.” I didn't mean it, but it just happened because of my fragility, limitations, and misunderstanding."
“That is ok. That is very natural. That is life. We are all human beings both with weaknesses and potential. Regard your mistakes as a down payment.”The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ March 4, 2014
https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/opinion/2020/05/137_152625.html
Do you believe in the presence of the heavens among us? Do you think heaven is a matter of going beyond our reality? Heaven is present, but I also believe that we can live in heaven here and now when we truly and freely love one another. The keyword of the heavens is always love.
Eben Alexander shares his near-death experience for about one week in his book, “Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey into the Afterlife.” As a highly trained neurosurgeon at Harvard University, he lay in a coma because of a brain infection and experienced a spiritual breakthrough at the age of 54.
Along his journey, he encountered spiritual reality. The core truth he realized is that ``You are loved and cherished dearly. You have nothing to fear." This recognition of “being loved and cherished” led him to utmost freedom and healing.
Nobody will deny that love is the most important and primary virtue in our lives. Everybody wants to love and to be loved. We are not fully and deeply satisfied, content, or happy unless we experience unconditional love.
Eben led quite a successful life, but the inner hurt still lingered in his subconscious. He was not fully free from the origins of his birth. More or less, being an orphan deserted by his own parents and becoming an adopted son cast a shadow over his life.
His seven days' of near-death experience touched his unconscious memory and created a turning point in his life; his “earthworm vision” has been transformed into broad-minded perspectives leading to the true reality of being loved from the very beginning of creation.
Almost for a week, his family and friends held him tightly by the hands, and that warm-hearted and ardent union brought him back out of his coma.
His near-death experience led me to ponder my childhood experiences as well. Even the slight thought of abortion can affect our whole life unless it is fully healed and purified.
I didn't know the reason why I was so gloomy and melancholy when I was a child, and that mood went on up to adolescent age. Only when I was spiritually trained to be a nun during the Novitiate of the Convent did I discover that, long ago, my mother was reluctant to give birth to me. She thought she was too old and tired to have a baby.
Nevertheless, I was born because my father advised her not to think of abortion at all. He said that every human being is born naturally with blessings. It took a considerable amount of time for me to feel and recognize that I have been loved and cherished from the very beginning of my being. I still remember I shed many tears during the Novitiate.
Nowadays, I notice so many people are struggling with depression. The exact causes of depression might differ from one to another, but the issue of depression has become a common noun. In many cases, the basic cause of our unhappiness is rooted in the lack of unconditional love.
As Eben and many others have experienced, the most effective remedy or medicine is the unconditional and compassionate love of God. Our basic need to love and to be loved is inherent deeply in the heart of everybody. Sincerely, each of us wants to be detached and transcend the fundamental desire to love and to be loved, but it instinctively exists and moves around in our subconscious.
Only by experiencing unconditional love can we truly be happy and free. But human love only cannot free and liberate us to the fullest. Much more than that, through reading the Bible, living the fruits of the Holy Spirit, and praying constantly can we become free to love others unconditionally.
The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ 17 June 2014
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/opinon/2014/06/162_159203.html
Our life is mingled with
duality and possibility. Positive and negative, day and night, the sky and the
sea, love and hatred, unity and confrontation, weakness and strength, joy and
suffering are intertwined to weave the most interesting human history.
Every reality of our society is flowing and encounters one another with some
sense of duality and possibility. Growing old, and experiencing and adventuring
further means learning to appreciate uniqueness and differences as they are in
the midst of the duality and variety of life.
Even today, some people are fasting, but still, others enjoy munching an apple.
Some people try to reveal and post the harsh realities of our sad society with bloody pictures, but still, others are willing to share and talk about the
beauty of life events full of gratitude, joy, intuition, and happiness. As it
is, all of us coexist with colorful, inspiring, and touching life experiences.
Muslims fast from 5:30 a.m. to 7:15 p.m. for a month in July. Fasting from dawn
to sunset, they think of the poor who don't have much food to eat, pray more
and help those in need.
During this period of Ramadan, Muslims refrain not only from food
but also liquids, smoking, and sexual relations. They are also mindful of
swearing, disagreeing, and backbiting.
Since they have to fast the whole day, the special market with a wide range of
Muslim foods is open for a month near the flats. So, most Muslims buy food
thereafter at 7:15 p.m.
Today while taking a walk for about two hours or so (I walk a long distance
every Monday), I browsed various mini-food stores in line to see the variety of
food.
Observing their ways of practicing faith is quite interesting. I don't know
why, but the topic that lingers in my heart these days is the bruised fruits.
The fruits sound luxurious and affluent; the fruits are surely an abundant and
generous sign of the endless and unconditional love of God for humanity.
Appreciating various fruits always pleases me. The fruits make me happy and
cheerful.
So I often praise and give thanks to God, who created all kinds of colorful
fruits in each season. So diverse, beautiful, and unique are the shapes and
tastes of the fruits. Like hobbies, fruits add a special charm and flavor
to staple foods.
Living in a country with only one season, summer, and the fruits help me to sustain health in balance. Enjoying one fruit after a meal is worth much more than getting sick and taking medicine. It is a good way of preventing illness.
When I lived alone in the Philippines about 25 years ago, I used to cook a small portion of rice with several kinds of beans in a little cooking pot in the dormitory. Instead of taking meat, I preferred beans. In this way, I found one way to live a simple life as in Walden that Henry David Thoreau aspired to live in harmony with nature.
Together with the beans, the tropical fruits and the fruit ice cream were the major nutritious foods I intentionally took from time to time for my survival. Especially when I had a headache or when I needed some refreshment, the fruits and ice cream provided me with some composure and contentment.
Now I live another level of extraordinary religious life in a foreign country.
Being quite independent, efficient, and responsible, I am learning to take care
of myself. Basic necessities are provided in common, but we have to control and
manage our extra needs beyond the basic necessities.
Nowadays as we work hard to raise the building fund for the convent, I notice
our fruits served at the table become smaller and smaller. Nevertheless, nobody
complains about it because we are wholly dedicating ourselves to saving money.
When we go to the market late in the afternoon or evening, we can buy some
bruised or disfigured fruits at a lower price. Not always, but usually the
bruised fruits taste better.
Sometimes extra fruits are given by providence. Whether I take the bruised
fruits or not, I am so grateful for all the wonderful gifts given under the
gesture of universal faith and unconditional love.
The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ July 22, 2014
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/opinon/2014/07/162_161420.html
Once in a while, there are times that I just feel I can't do anything by myself. I become so small and helpless that I even don't know what to do. That is when I take a deep breath and pray. Only then, am I empowered and begin again.
St. Paul once confessed that “it is not I but Jesus who lives in me". That is true. Something is moving and touching my fragility and weakness. If I had lived by myself, I would have long gone out of the convent.The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ April 25, 2014
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/opinon/2014/03/162_153962.html#
“May I speak to Sister Mari Teresa?” the unfamiliar voice was heard saying on the phone.
“It’s me. I’m speaking”
“Ah, Yeh!”
Then, we began to talk in Korean.
He was a Korean sculptor who recently visited Singapore for a month-long solo
show at the Space Cottonseed Gallery. He had majored in sculpture at Seoul
National University and went abroad to New York to further his art studies.
It was his senior sculptor, with whom I collaborated to publish a book, who
gave me my contact information to him. His call was unexpected, so I was excited
and eager to see him.
In fact, I feel joyful and uplifted whenever I contemplate works of art.
Probably because my father was a carpenter and I played along with small pieces
of the wood he left at home during my childhood, I am very inspired and
refreshed when I look at the works of art that have been created after a long
period of endurance, waiting, pondering, contemplation, sacrifice, and self-control.
So I visited the gallery the next day, and we shared our stories over lunch. He
was a born Christian, but eventually became a freelancer on the subject of
religion. Regardless of religion, he respects those who walk the spiritual path
of searching for truth or the ultimate reality.
His works of art look to be the fruits of deconstruction and much
contemplation. He tries to delve into the deep meaning of the words beyond the
letters or characters. His creativity comes from the forms of the letters but
reveals another world of letters.
Day in and day out, we see so many things, both positive and negative,
beautiful and ugly, lovely and disgusting. So diverse things and moments come
and go constantly. We gaze and perceive much more about things on which we
concentrate.
One of the deepest levels of prayer is called contemplation, which is directly
related to seeing and looking and thus experiencing the presence of God.
The more and deeper we see, the more and deeper we love and dedicate ourselves.
We look at reality with our eyes, but there are much deeper realities we can
perceive only with the eyes of the heart.
What we see with our eyes is not everything. There is the realm that goes
beyond the boundary of sight and words.
That realm is realized and perceived through the spiritual eyes of compassion,
sympathy, encouragement, solidarity, sharing, love, understanding, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
This spiritual realm is what the artists want to capture and appreciate most.
Looking at the spiritual meaning beyond words, letters, or characters, we can
realize joy, peace, happiness, and freedom among us.
So Kim Shin-il says in his artist statement of his solo show: “I endeavor to
look into the perception itself derived from seeing and thinking in new
ways." An intuitive perception always invites us to go beyond the
phenomenal concept and capture the true meaning behind it.
As in this longing for another world of perception and intuition, hope is
revealed and realized little by little. Everywhere, we are looking for hope; so
every new year is filled with hope.
Commitment, dedication, and memory let a dream of hope come true. No matter how
deep the differences and hurts are, hope comes from forgiveness and
reconciliation, love and compassion, understanding and sharing, collaboration
and solidarity.
Michael Downey wanted to die for Vietnam as a missionary when he was a child;
he realized his dream in some way when he wrote: “The Heart of Hope:
Contemplating Life, Awakening Love" in 2004 after 25 years of teaching.
"Help me, Lord.
Please help me!" This is one of my
spontaneous prayers that I often repeat before sleeping these days.
"Help me, Lord!"
Those young students who died recently in a ferry disaster
would have cried and prayed desperately in the same manner. "Help me! Help me,
please!"
Hearing the fragile and miserable destiny of many innocent people, I often ponder on the life jacket and ask myself, "Would
I be willing to give in and hand the life jacket to others if I were in the
same boat? Can I immediately, spontaneously, gracefully, and even joyfully give
my life for the good of others?"
When I feel like floating in the air, the urgent petition
asking for help becomes real and vivid. I feel like floating here and there especially when I realize
myself not wholly belong anywhere. I left my home country and I am still struggling to adjust to the
different circumstances of a foreign country.
In between two countries, I am undergoing the endless
journey of initiation and purification. Especially when facing my weakness, limitations, cultural and
personal difference, misunderstanding, and repeated mistakes, I just feel I am
floating and even flying about in the air.
I don't know what will happen next. I might be either burned by the
strong sunlight or fall down to the ground. Everything is up to God's providence.
The only good thing is that I have a firm and strong sense
of apostolic mission for diverse people including lots of migrants. That sense of mission inspires,
empowers, and sustains me to go on this spiritual journey.
I just live the moment, this very moment, doing my best. When I think of falling down from
floating in the air and on the water, I'm scared but at the same time, I feel
the most compassionate hands of the Lord holding me tight and leading me to
appreciate each moment with gratitude and wonder.
Driving in Singapore is quite safe. Motorcyclists passing by in between
the lanes are speedy but drivers are hardly speedy. I often observe most of them are
attentive, considerate, generous, kind enough to be patient, and generous enough
to wait for others.
The roads and exits in Singapore are quite well organized. Every road looks so systematically
and conveniently organized and interconnected to one another that I often think
the original designers of the road map must have been very creative,
intelligent, and clever.
Once I make the right exit, it takes no time to arrive at my
destination. However,
when I choose the wrong exit because of my limited knowledge and information
about roads, it naturally takes more time and energy as I wander around and
make detours.
Finding the right exit is something like picking up the
encouraging, empowering, and inspiring word of God at the right moment.
When we are sad or feeling down, it is easy to rely on human
connection. However,
Pope Francis encourages us to "pick up the word of God and go to Sunday
mass" when we have the blues.
He keeps saying, "Receive communion every Sunday and
read the Gospel every day to keep discouragement and the blues away. The word of God and the Eucharist
always fill us with joy!"
Along the journey of our diverse lives, we can be saddened,
burdened, worried, dejected, and even despairing, but our hearts can burn again
with joy, hope, and enthusiasm when we encounter and experience the risen Christ
vividly living in the word of God and in our daily lives as well.
Life sometimes hurts us in many ways because reality
looks indifferent and cruel; we can't avoid life's difficulties and
disappointments due to natural differences.
But the word of God constantly rekindles our hearts to be
filled with faith, hope, and love. It is the word of God that gives us direction and guidance for
further steps.
https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/opinion/2020/11/137_157324.html
The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ May 17-18, 2014
The life of a missionary is like drawing water from a deep well. I have nothing and I can't do anything by myself. Nevertheless, I am renewed, empowered, enlivened, and transformed into a new being little by little.
Clearly, it is not I who lives but Christ who lives in me as Saint Paul
confessed long ago. This spiritual witness gives me hope, vision, and
inspiration to go on this mysterious journey. In spite of my limitations and
the lack of communication, a hope-filled new year has been opened wide.
All of us want to be better, much better than before in many ways. Nobody will
deny that each of us hopes to improve our lives not only physically and
materially, but spiritually.
Hope lets me go on and on. All of us have hope for fraternity and solidarity
among people in the world as Pope Francis mentioned in his message for the new
year.
Nature here and there reveals much hope. Newly blooming sprouts, leaves and
flowers, the dawn and the rising sun, babies, and children are all symbols of
hope. In fact, every moment of our lives is filled with hopes and dreams. That
is why we can smile and be positive and grateful beyond problems and obstacles.
One good example of giving hope to society would be the life of Father Cyril
Axelrod. Since I read his story, I feel he keeps saying, “Never give up! Do not
be afraid. Have a dream. Cheer up!"
Cyril Axelrod, a deaf-blind priest, constantly encourages us to go beyond the
situation. Doing eight indigenous sign languages and speaking nine languages,
Cyril Axelrod is a living example and witness to going beyond obstacles and
limitations.
He was born almost deaf in an Orthodox Jewish family in South Africa in 1942.
So he attended St. Vincent's School for the Deaf in Johannesburg. His father
passed away when he was 19 years old. He became a Roman Catholic in 1965,
entered the Redemptorists, and studied philosophy and psychology.
One day at Mass, he noticed some deaf people didn't understand what the priest
was saying. So he decided to become a priest to help others understand the
message more easily and clearly. Then, he studied at St. John Vianney's
Seminary in Pretoria and was finally ordained in 1970.
Nevertheless, he began to go blind in 1979 because of Usher syndrome and
had lost all his sight by 2001. As a modern hermit, he does cooking and
housework by himself. With braille communications, he also makes use of his
phone, computer, doorbell, Internet, email, and text message services.
He now lives in London but travels around the world doing his mission, training, and consulting with his vision and insight.
His life and faith in God is a touching miracle. He is blind but he has an
inner vision, insight, inspiration, compassion, and goodwill for people. He is
deaf, but he is willing to communicate, share and collaborate with others.
Like Nick Vujicic, he believes disabled people are angels who help others to learn
and experience valuable lessons of unconditional love, trust, hope, faith, inner peace, perseverance, motivation, and integration. To him, deaf-blindness
is a blessing and a powerful means to help others.
He went far beyond his personal needs. His mission is to give hope and faith to
the deaf and blind so that they can receive God's message and enjoy the gift of
communication.
He set up a hostel for homeless deaf people and a training center to teach
skills to enable deaf people to find work. He also wrote, “And the Journey
Begins".
Whenever he meets people, he is willing to smile and share a joke. To people
suffering from depression, he gives an encouraging message. “Try again and
again. Do your best to overcome obstacles. Go beyond limitations and challenges.
Have courage. Have a vision."
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/opinon/2014/01/162_149771.html
The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ January 15, 2014
Confession
Even though I am so weak
That I am not whole in many ways
There is neither fear nor regret
For there is the endlessly generous love
That accepts and accompanies me as I am
Like a faithful guardian angel
For there is peace smiling constantly
Even if I lose my soul from time to time
And become a wanderer departing for a thousand miles
Where would be such a great miracle!
Where would be such an amazing gift!
Where would be such an overwhelming sharing!
I will sing from now on
Letting smiles in full bloom always everywhere
I will share the beautiful love of God
I came to Singapore with a sentimental but inspiring and challenging spirit. I
was happy and joyful to start my new life as a missionary in a foreign country.
In fact, leaving my country and my religious community refreshed and
strengthened my life.
Along the path of our lives, we experience coincidence or contingency from time
to time. We neither plan nor begin with certain intentions from the beginning,
but ultimately something interesting happens. What a coincidence that is!
My first name, “Aeran,” my e-mail address, “orchid,” and the national flower of
Singapore coincidentally connote the same meaning of orchid. The first name that
my brother gave me when I was born means “lovely orchid,” so the orchid became
my favorite flower and I chose that as my e-mail address. I’m fond of the noble
and colorful features of both Western and Eastern orchids. I especially like
the ‘Pungran (Sickle Neofinetja)’, which endures a hard life to give birth to
the most simple but lofty flower.
I didn’t know before that I would come to Singapore someday. When I first came
here, I realized Singapore is full of various kinds of orchids in full bloom,
both in the streets and in the gardens, which are very precious and expensive
in Korea.
Whenever I go around here in Singapore, various orchids and flowers greet me in
a most friendly and warmhearted way. The Western orchid named “Vanda Miss
Joaquim” was first found by Agnes Joaquim in her garden in 1893. It was chosen
as the national flower of Singapore in 1981.
The orchid is not deeply rooted in the ground but is usually attached to a
branch or trunk of a tree. Nevertheless, it grows and survives while absorbing
moisture and nutritious elements from the air.
Each root is so closely interrelated that they embrace and sustain each other
firmly. In some way, the life of the orchid is related to Singapore, which
heavily relies on trade and tourism.
This intimate and close interrelationship symbolizes the unity and
collaboration of Singapore as a multi-racial and multi-cultural society. It
also reveals the will to cooperate as a country heavily dependent on the import
of daily necessities due to its lack of natural resources.
https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/opinion/2022/04/162_132303.html?fa
The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ 19 March 2013
Every year on June 30, the religious congregation of the Daughters of Saint Paul celebrates the feast day of Saint Paul in a very special way. It is such a meaningful day for the Pauline sisters that we usually have either perpetual or temporary professions across the world. (Daughters of St. Paul are living in 50 countries around the world.)
Singapore is not an exception. One of our Junior Sisters renewed her vows. With
much apostolic zeal for the mission, she arranged a book outreach on the feast day
as well.
As usual, three of us were supposed to leave at 6 o'clock in the morning for a
book outreach at the Church of Our Lady of Lourdes founded in 1888 on Ophir
Road.
Being so eager to practice driving, I tried to reverse the car from the garage
on behalf of Superior. Accidentally, a cute red car was nearby, and I tried to
avoid hitting that small car. Unfortunately, however, the left corner of the
front bumper of our car hit the wall near the gate.
What a shock! My heart began to beat fast. Nevertheless, I had to explain the
situation when the Sister came out. I was so shocked, but she was very calm and
said,
"You are lucky that you didn't scratch the nearby car."
Along the way to the church, my heart was so heavy and gloomy. Making an
apology to her did not soothe me at all. Various thoughts came and went
away. And I became negative and my mood became darker.
I was so worried about the bumper and asked if repairing it is expensive.
The Sister said, "Relatively."
I asked, "What do you mean by 'relatively'?"
And she said, "Quite..."
I replied again, "I am really sorry, Sister..."
In a small community with limited income, each of us has to be very conscious
of our expenses.
Then, I attended the 11 o'clock mass and prayed harder. During Mass, my mind
began to transform. All my dark thoughts were changed into positive and hopeful
thoughts, and my inner voice encouraged, healed, and refreshed me.
In the end, I made up my mind to tell my Sister to give me another chance to
begin again. It was because I firmly believe that the most generous and
merciful God always gives us new opportunities.
After Mass, I stood by the audio-visual corner. In the midst of people
gathering around the tables to browse, a middle-aged Singaporean man came to me
with a big smile and handed me something.
"Sister, keep it for yourself."
I asked him to donate the amount in the donation box for Africa in front of
the gate. At the moment, we were still raising funds for Mozambique in Africa.
But he kept saying,
"Never mind. I just want to give it to you. Please spend it for your
needs."
Then, without letting me know his name, he walked away almost like a guardian
angel.
After a while, I looked at the folded amount of money and counted; it was $750
in all.
What a miracle it was! It was really a mysterious and amazing experience for me.
I was healed and so consoled that I became much more confident in the
providence of God. During Mass, I changed into a new person again, and God sent
me an angel. Handing the amount to my dear Sister was almost like surrendering appreciation to the will of God.
At 5 o'clock in the evening, we celebrated mass in memory of St. Paul together
with our collaborators, vocations, and many other acquaintances in our Chapel
at home. Among them was Maria Park with whom I shared my mysterious experience
which happened in the morning. She gave me some offerings as well, saying
"It is another miracle!"
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/opinon/2013/07/162_138786.html
The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ July 8, 2013
정말 기적이에요!
해마다 6월 30일이 되면 성바오로딸수도회는 성 바오로 축일을 매우 각별하게 보낸다. 참으로 뜻 깊은 이날 바오로딸 수녀들은 세계적으로 대개 종신서원이나 갱신서원을 한다. (성바오로딸수도회는 50여 개 나라에 살고 있다.)
싱가포르도 예외는 아니다. 유기서원자 한 분이 갱신서원을 했다. 그 수녀는 선교에 대한 사도적 열정이 대단해 축일에도 도서선교를 교섭했다.
여느 때와 마찬가지로 우리 세 사람은 1888년 오필 거리에 설립된 루르드 성모 성당에 도서선교를 가기 위해 아침 6시에 출발하기로 했다.
운전 연습에 열성이던 나는 원장 수녀님을 대신해 차고에서 차를 빼내려고 후진을 시도했다. 뜻밖에도
깜찍한 빨간색 승용차가 옆에 있어 나는 그 작은 차에 부딪치지 않으려고 애썼다. 그런데 유감스럽게도
우리 차 앞쪽 범퍼 왼쪽 귀퉁이가 대문 옆 벽에 부딪치고 말았다.
얼마나 놀랐는지! 심장이 점점 빠르게 뛰었다. 그럼에도 원장 수녀님이 나오자 나는 상황을 설명해야 했다. 나는 무척 놀랐는데 수녀님은 매우 침착하게 말했다.
"옆에 있던 차를 긁지 않은 것이 다행이에요."
성당에 가는 길 내내 내 마음은 무척 무겁고 착잡했다. 사과를 했는데도 마음이 편치 않았다. 이런저런 생각이 오가더니 부정적 생각이 가득 차 마음이 더욱 어두워졌다.
범퍼가 너무 걱정되어 수리하는 것이 비싼지 물었다.
수녀님이 말했다. "상대적으로."
나는 물었다. "상대적이라니, 무슨 뜻이에요?"
수녀님이 대답했다. "상당히..."
나는 다시 말했다. "수녀님, 정말 미안해요."
제한된 수입으로 살아가는 작은 공동체에서 우리 한 사람 한 사람은 비용에 대해 매우 의식해야 한다.
나는 11시 미사를 참례하면서 더욱 열심히 기도했다. 미사
가운데 마음이 변화되기 시작했다. 어둡던 온갖 생각이 긍정적이고 희망적으로 바뀌었고, 내면에서 들려오는 목소리는 나를 격려하고 치유하며 새롭게 했다.
마침내 나는 다시 시작할 수 있는 기회를 달라고 말해야지 하고 마음먹었다. 가장 너그럽고 자비로우신
하느님은 언제나 새로운 기회를 주신다고 굳게 믿고 있었기 때문이다.
미사 후 나는 시청각 매체가 있는 쪽에 서 있었다. 매체를 둘러보려고 모여 있는 사람들 가운데
중년으로 보이는 싱가포르 남자 한 분이 활짝 웃으며 무언가를 건네주었다.
"수녀님, 이거 가지세요."
나는 성당 문 앞에 있는 아프리카 모금함에 기부하시라고 했다. 우리는 여전히 아프리카 모잠빅을
위한 기금을 모으고 있었다.
그러나 그분은 거듭 말했다.
"상관 마세요. 그저 수녀님께 드리고 싶어요. 필요할 때 쓰세요."
그러곤 이름도 밝히지 않은 채 수호천사처럼 사라져 버렸다.
잠시 후 나는 접힌 돈을 펼치고 헤아려 보았다. 모두 750달러였다.
참으로 기적이었다! 정말 신비롭고도 놀라운 체험이었다.
나는 치유되고 위로 받아 하느님 섭리를 더욱 신뢰하게 되었다. 미사 가운데 나는 거듭 새사람이
되었고 하느님은 천사를 보내주셨다. 금액을 수녀님께 건네는 것은 하느님 뜻에 모든 것을 맡겨드리는 감사
행위와 같았다.
오후 5시에 우리는 소성당에서 협력자와 성소자를 비롯한 여러 지인과 더불어 성 바오로 축일미사를
드렸다. 그 가운데 박 마리아 자매님이 오셔서 나는 아침에 일어난 신비로운 체험을 나누었다. 그분은 봉헌금을 주면서 이렇게 말했다. "또 하나의 기적이에요!"