Walking through the labyrinth 미로를 걸으며

“Oh, my goodness, I made so many mistakes.” I didn't mean it, but it just happened because of my fragility, limitations, and misunderstanding."

“That is ok. That is very natural. That is life. We are all human beings both with weaknesses and potential. Regard your mistakes as a down payment.”

“Wow, down payment? What does it mean?”

“It means deposit.”

Hearing the term “down payment,” I felt so consoled, released, and inspired.

That's it. It is only a down payment. Not only joy and happiness, gratitude and sharing, but all my limitations and weakness, faults and mistakes, difficulties and conflicts can be a down payment. I can still begin again. Another inspiring day is dawning.

With the recognition of a down payment, I can open my heart and accept reality as it is.

Every day after breakfast during my annual retreat for eight days, I walked through the course of the labyrinth beautifully made near the House of Prayer and Formation at the Mary Stella Convent of the Franciscan Missionaries of Mary in Holland.

I liked it so much that I walked around the labyrinth while appreciating my freedom in the midst of the pure air, the lofty skies, tall trees with rich clusters of leaves, beautiful and unique flowers, and really hardworking sisters all around.

The labyrinth is a maze-like path toward a center leading to contemplation on the long winding journey of life. The labyrinth consists of 28 u-turns, three right turns and three left turns. All these 34 turns symbolize the ups and downs, the turns and twists of life.

Starting from the first path outside, the track seems to lead us to the center directly but it turns and turns around up to 34 times.

While walking through the labyrinth every day, I realized our lives are just like that: going straight, turning left or right, detouring, making a shortcut, turning around, going astray, returning, and so on.

Going back and forth, again and again, we arrive at a certain point joyfully and gratefully leading to illumination, enlightenment, and reunion. The labyrinth is truly a good metaphor for the inner journey towards the center of the self and finally back out into the world.

Walking through the whole course of the labyrinth takes about five minutes at my pace, but it gave me much inspiration on challenging relationships and the difficulties of life.

While walking on and on, I realized struggling and facing lots of turns and twists, ups and downs are very natural. Turns and twists, ups and downs are like stepping stones leading us to go beyond.  

The joy and happiness, conflicts and obstacles in life are a down payment for a deeper, brighter, wider, and freer spiritual life. Colorful moments of our lives come and go; various encounters pass by. That is very natural; that is life.

Many times when I read the Bible during the retreat, I was deeply moved and tears rolled down my cheeks. After listening to the story of a sister experiencing her life as a missionary, I felt so much empathy and deeply became awakened.

I cried and cried as if to convert myself. My retreat was something like a vacation with the Lord with much freedom and appreciation of the beauty of nature but it finally turned out to arrive at deeper repentance and conversion.

When I came back home, I read a pastoral letter to the religious on the topic of integrating prayer into work by Archbishop William Goh. The message was exactly the same as my thoughts, and I was deeply touched and inspired:

“...The primary conversion is a renewal of our personal relationship with the Lord... Evangelization demands familiarity with God's word... If we are not evangelized ourselves on a daily basis, we will have no zeal to evangelize others... Without prayer our work will become sterile and mundane, lacking vitality and joy. With prayer, our work becomes a vocation; our offices a place of joy, of fraternal love, a place where we proclaim the joy of the gospel to each other and to the world.”

Truly another inspiring, touching day is dawning. 

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ March 4, 2014

                                              https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/opinion/2020/05/137_152625.html