The extended family 대가족

                  (written in 2004)

 

It is said that the number of births is declining more and more especially because women are avoiding childbearing and seeking careers instead. The fertility rate is lowered each year with more women inclined to remain single trying to fulfill their individual dreams and vision. Bearing and rearing children surely demand much sacrifice and endurance.

 One of our traditional values is the extended family, but this value has been transformed into the so-called nuclear family in this new social trend. Our family forms used to expand their relationships among grandparents, parents, children, and grandchildren under the same roof. Personal and family solidarity was regarded as something precious and worthwhile.

 All of a sudden, this value has been changed because of the western impact of individualism and materialism. The divorce ratio is the second highest and the birth rate is the lowest in the world. Abortion cases reach 4,000 a day in Korea.

 During the 8th plenary assembly of the Federation of Asian Bishops' Conferences held in  Daejeon from Aug. 17 to 23, the main topic was "The Asian family toward the culture of integral life." About 181 participants including six cardinals, 24 archbishops, 56 bishops and priests, religious men and women, and lay people came from 22 Asian countries to see, examine, judge, reflect, and search for the recommendations or countermeasures of the impending issues of Asian families.

 The entire Catholic Church throughout the world is concentrating on family ministry, for the family is the basic unit of society and the origin of every community. Shared love and universal solidarity are rooted in the family. Nobody would deny the importance of biological and spiritual family as the fundamental cell of society and the world. Bearing in mind this basic concept, every participant in this assembly tried to listen to God's will and the present situation of Asian families.

 Asian cultural values and traditions such as reverence for life, closeness to nature, strong family ties, family centeredness, personal relationships, hospitality, respect for elders, filial piety, caring for the young, and a spirit of enduring sacrifice were pointed out on the way to the pastoral plans. However, globalization, secularism, selfishness, and greed have caused both rural and urban poverty, migration, separation, child labor, the gap between the poor and the rich and unbalance in ecology. AIDS, drugs, and pornography have harmed the bond of intimate families and brought out divorce, abortion, and contraception.

 In these serious struggles and conflicts, many people of goodwill are searching for true happiness in sharing with one another. The Korean Catholic church is not an exception. We are working to find constructive ways to protect those who try to live in the spirit of the extended family.

 The 8th plenary assembly invited several model families. The spotlighted man, Mr. Seong Jong-beom, is now teaching the Korean language at Jungang High School in Ulsan. He has seven children from 2 years old to 24 years old. He and his wife are willing to support and care for each child. They look unusual, but they are becoming the symbol of the culture of life in the midst of abortion and contraception. At the end of the assembly, all of his children came to join in the final Mass and were presented to the Lord during the offering in front of the whole audience.

 Mr. Choi Chang-seop runs a private school for young people who want to study the English language, essay writing, and mathematics. He has six children and his family motto is "living by God's will." Whatever is given, he and his wife accept God's gift of love and life.

 Several other couples were also invited to share their family experiences and values. All of them expressed love, trust, faith, understanding, and openness as the most important values or secrets to leading a family life. A long time ago, the Korean family used to have more than three children. My parents had nine children, even though three of them died young. Having more than three children was normal at that time, but it has become abnormal these days.

 It's good to see that the pastors of the church witness God's unfailing love and look for every opportunity to promote the good of families. We are accompanying all families, especially those in dire need, on their spiritual journey toward the fullness of life, a culture of life, and a civilization of love. Shared love, mutual communion, and faithful service will surely foster solidarity in every community and society.

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Sept. 3, 2004