Seasons of grace 은총의 계절

        (written in 2004)

 Grace is a charming, hopeful, and cheerful gift. When we are graceful and beautiful deep in our hearts, our lives bring much joy, generosity, calmness, and gentleness to one another. Whether it is seen or not, grace is constantly bestowed on our lives and enriches each moment. It's deeply and intensively felt especially when faced with difficulties, failure, and even despair.

 Looking back at our lives, every moment is filled with grace and awakening. Of course, it takes time to recognize and appreciate its meaning, but our painful and troublesome situations are moments to grow more spiritually. Sometimes only after shedding tears, we realize that every opportunity or experience is God's providence.

 A few months ago, I finished translating the little prayer book for mothers. After translating, I reread the text to check for mistakes. Then, I left it for some time and only recently looked at it again to have it published in the near future. When I first translated, I hadn't noticed any original textual problems, but I found some problems with the text itself and also with my translation. So, I showed it to several other people to review and some of them pointed out problems as well as countermeasures.

 I tried to make the text better. I even visited the Catholic Arts Academy to collect some pictures to put into the book. On the following day, however, my senior sister in charge of editing suggested I should postpone its publication. She was worried about people's response because of another similar prayer book to be published in the same month.

 All of a sudden, I had to give up my project for that book. My senior advised me to try it again next year. Faced with such a decision, I was so sad and dispirited that I cried for about two hours. I even took a walk for a while to appease myself and prayed to relieve my disappointment. While walking, I realized it was God's providence of grace. I had to be patient and wait for the time being to make it better. In this way, God revealed the problem of the text and showed me an alternative for a better outcome. I also could be more objective and discerning by means of this situation.

 Not always but usually, grace comes in the name of pain and waiting. Mary first couldn't understand when the angel said that she was "full of grace". Grace is gradually revealed in the midst of unknowing. It's joyful but also painful to accept reality as it is. Once we begin to appreciate and accept the situation, new intuitive perception sprouts to bring a better result. Grace dances while struggling against darkness, suffering, and difficulties.

 I still remember how God worked actively in my life. I thought there was no way to go forward a long time ago, but he gracefully opened another door to enter. I've experienced his constant presence especially when I waited for the religious calling demanding much perseverance and discernment.

 "Seasons of grace: wisdom from the Cloister" written by Mother Gail Fitzpatrick, OCSO was recently published by Pauline. It's a collection of simple meditative talks or essays starting in spring and ending in winter. It says that "the seasons of life, the seasons of the year, and the liturgical seasons are all seasons of grace". Truly, every moment, and every season is a special time allowed and arranged to experience and deepen the grace of life. Seasons are ever-changing but they are filled with touching stories. How happy and grateful it is to see that every particle of nature cries out in the newness of life! All things are renewed in springtime and become an amazing grace. The author invites us to enter into a new life, which means "to be fully present, open and listening" to people, nature, and the world around us.

 There is America's favorite hymn written by John Newton. This hymn entitled 'Amazing grace' is well-known all over the world not only for Protestants but for Catholics as well. Being an amazing story indeed, this hymn talks about Newton's conversion and new life. He was on a slave ship in the middle of a storm, which threatened to sink his ship. He found Thomas a Kempis' "Imitation of Christ" on board, read it, and later committed his life to Christ. He mentioned that we are miserable and unhappy apart from Christ. He spent his last 43 years preaching the gospels. At eighty-two, he said that "My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things, that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Savior." That hymn is as follows:

 

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me,

I once was lost, but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

 

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears were relieved.

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

 

Through many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come.

'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.

 The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Mar. 10, 2004