(written in 2005)
Everything comes out from the heart. Love and forgiveness, hatred and jealousy, joy and compassion, peace and violence... all these good or bad qualities spring from the heart. Our heart can be the smallest hotbed, but it can also expand its domain to be as wide as the heavens and the ocean. It depends on our discipline, decisions, and choice.
God once asked his angels where he should hide. An angel told him to hide in heaven. God responded, "O, no, for humans will always aspire to higher things and they will surely find me there." Another angel suggested hiding in the deep. Then, God said, "Human life is full of many depths and they will surely plumb the depths and find me." The third angel said, "Why not hide in the human heart?" God agreed and said, "I will hide in the human heart and I am sure they will not ever seek me there."
“I will be with you to the end of the world," God said he will present himself and remain in our hearts which can be both nearest and farthest. Nevertheless, we try to find out something marvelous and mysterious, not from our hearts but from outward circumstances sometimes far away from us. Of course, those distant environments also bear insight and touching moments, but our heart is clearly the focal point so that every imaginative and creative vision can come out to build a better world.
From our hearts, love and new resolution sprout to bear abundant fruits and even change the course of life. When our heart is wide open, nothing is impossible or difficult. We can easily overcome obstacles with an open and willing heart. What matters is not the work itself but the heart -- the secret door to a solution.
Recently I had a chance to listen to a special lecture on reality and choice therapy by Prof. In-ja Kim. Her lectures were good and helpful to evaluate my pattern of dialogue and relationships. She emphasizes responsive listening, telling myself as I am, searching for the personal "want" from the heart, doing now and practicing, always evaluating dialogue and behavior patterns, planning to do better next time, changing actions and thoughts that can be changed, being process-centered and planning and more.
After listening to her persuasive and witty explanations of her personal experience, I have admitted I have an obstacle in relation to conversations with others. I'm rather simple and straight in talking so I am often not careful of others' sensitivity and pride, especially when I feel the need to talk and persist. Evaluating the way I talk, I have found I'm quite self-centered. I'm a sister who has the hopeful and lofty mission of making the world a happy, peaceful and healthy place to live with one another but still doesn't know how to talk with a friendly and considerate heart.
Many times, I do something for my individual need or want that is sometimes selfish and instinctive. However, with the help of miraculous grace, I believe I have the power to change my personal tendency and situations. In other words, I can choose the best thing for me, and others as well. I also have the power to go beyond inevitable conditions. In this way, the choice is given to us, and problems are the chance to grow. When I listened to Prof. In-ja Kim for two days, I felt spirited and enlightened.
When we look at others' defects, faults or mistakes, it is easy to judge, criticize, and even reject them. And those who have more negative and critical points of view are prone to be distorted in view and even ill. We have to admit that there is always something lacking and insufficient. In fact, nobody can really criticize others. All the more, the most important reality is neither the past nor the future; it is the present. We don't have to waste time and energy by attaching ourselves to the past. The past has already gone.
Therefore, "What am I going to do from now on?" is a more important question than regretting and mourning. "What to do to make it better?" is the question to plan anew for the future. What to do from now on? How will I make a change and do something in a different way? Examining our hearts by asking the following questions would be very helpful as Prof. Kim suggested. Is it constructive? Is it good for both of us? Will God want it? Will my parents want it? Do I really want it? Why am I here? What do I want to do differently? and What is my priority?
With these questions in heart and mind, let us be conscious of our reality and wide awake to guide our choices. We can surely make ourselves and others happier. Then, the world will be brighter, too.
The Korea Times/ Thoughts of the Times/ Monday, April 25, 2005
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